"Aku terima nikahnya, xxx dengan mas kahwin RM xxx tunai."
This happened exactly a year ago. November 11. 2017. #theWanforMalina
It was overwhelming and it still is today though it has been a year been happily married to the most wonderful man on Earth. Every night before we both go to bed, we always talk and say to each other that it is so bizarre that we are now married. After what we have been through throughout the whole two-year journey before we got married, it was amazing how we got to this day.
I leave up to your wildest imagination on the countless challenges and hurdles and shittiest things that have ever happened to both of us. It is true that people said "good things don't come easily", "no pain no gain" and also "diamonds are made under pressure". When you reached to this point of being married, you'll know! This is so true! Diamonds are just ugly, useless rocks without pressuring it and polishing it and cracked it open and get to the core of the rock/stone. Well, here we are. Diamonds. Not literally, but you get what I mean.
Many people asked me, how does he proposed? And how to know if the guy is ready for marriage? How does he knows that you are the one because most guys does not have any idea how to be in a relationship? How can you get him? What did you do to make him want you? You give any hints on getting married anytime soon to him that he is pressured to do so?
Well, let me share with you our story. LOL.
For those who know me, I am not the kind of lady who likes cliche stuff. I do not believe in fairytale, have zero expectation of Prince Charming or knight in shining armour nor the guy has to proposed in some romantic gesture that I should said yes immediately. I also do not believe in arranged marriage. In fact, I did not have any plans on getting married as I grew older. (Fun fact: Back when I was seven, yes SEVEN, I had a dream that I will get married when I turn twenty-seven, which will be in 2017. So I made the calculation in that tiny little brain of mine, 20 years to go until I found my man. Well, dreams do come true then, guys. Literally.)
So I will answer it based on these common questions I often get:
How does he proposed to you?
I cannot tell you exactly how he proposed because it was more like a discussion between two of us rather than a "Will you marry me?" proposal. It was at night, we just got back from a dinner date, he sent me home. On the journey back home, he asked, "How about we get married in November 2017?". Yes, out of the blue he asked me that question. It was around August 2016, and we have been together for a year and six months at that time. I told him, "So it will be about a year plus to go. You're okay with it? Wait for me? What if there are some other bitches who want you? Will you still want me to be your wife?". I did not treat his question as a proposal because I genuinely think that was just a discussion and somehow he has that crazy idea of being married to me because I am honest AF and sometimes can be so straight-forward that people might think I am rude. But, yeah. I did not pay much attention to it because if he's serious, he will show me. Not just say things out of the blue like that. I would like to see some actions, baby! LOL!
So, it was December 2016. He asked me again. This time he said, "I told my parents that we are getting serious and my family would like to meet your family, some time in January. Is that okay? Could you please ask your family?". Err. Okay, this guy is serious. Honestly guys, I have no expectation and never think of a life being married and married Malina is not fun. I don't know how to be a wife. I mean, living in a house with a stranger? What the hell? No way. I am the type of woman who will never meet my boyfriend's family, will never go to their place and my boyfriend is not allowed to meet my family. I will never bring my boyfriend home because he is a complete stranger to my family and he will invade my family's space. So no. He asked me to discuss with my family about this and I gave it a go. My family is keen to meet him and the whole clan, so we did. January 7th 2017 was the date. We had dinner at my family's place and then they talked about being engaged on the next month.
After they went back, I couldn't believe that my family met his and my brain could not stop thinking that, "Eh am I getting married soon? Is this for reals?".
Then came a week after that. He came to pick me up and we went out for breakfast at 6.30am. I still remember that morning, he just got back from work at 5am, haven't got his sleep yet and called me at 6am to go out for a breakfast date at the nearest Oldtown in our neighbourhood. Both of us went out unshowered, with a hoodie on and still in my PJs. While waiting for our meal, he asked, "Are you busy on November 17th, 2017?". I replied with "I am not sure, let me check my organizer." (yes, I bring my organizer everywhereeee). Whilst I was checking it, he said "Let's get married?" with a question mark. I was stunned. OF COURSE I WAS STUNNED! That came out of nowhere! My eyes were wide open, froze, I swear to God I did not blink for like 10 seconds. My body was sliding down from the nook chair in Oldtown. Swear to God I looked like that!
He was laughing and said again, "Let's get married in November!". I sat up straight, and said "You never give up, do you?". He said "I know you are the one for me. So yes, I would like to marry you and have you as my wife. Will you?". And next thing, there's the engagement ring he bought earlier and went to buy it behind my back. Damn. So yeah. That's the proposal story. I still checked my schedule in my organizer and November 17th is wide open, no bookings made. So what did I say to him? I cried and said, "So I will be free on November 17th but are you sure? Aww, thank you for not giving up on me. Of course I would love to be your wife." Wow. How time flies.
For those who doesn't know why it was 17th and we were married on the 11th, the initial plan was on the 17th but there are no halls available as we went to find the venue after the engagement in February, they were only available on the 11th. So we brought it a week forward.
How to know if the guy is ready for marriage? How does he knows that you are the one because most guys does not have any idea how to be in a relationship? How can you get him? What did you do to make him want you?
I once asked him this question and I swear this is his answer. This does not comes from me. It's my husband's. Here we go. I went on few dates before I met Malina. By few, I mean a lot. I went on dates and met some women and had some conversations but none of them have the quality of being interesting. I usually do the talking, maybe they are shy but I don't feel the mutual feelings. Sometimes they like me too much or maybe they do not care at all. When I met Malina, she has different set of mind and mentality that cannot be found in others. She is different. We clicked right away and she made me laugh with her jokes and the vibe that she gave me is beyond anything else. She is not afraid to be herself and I know that she is confident by the way she talks, walks and laughs. That confidence she has, she wants people around her to feel that as well. She does not care what others think about her because she knows what she's doing. She has that good vibes and stuff that she talked about, I know she's different and smart and knowledgable. She doesn't do small talk or talk about other human beings. She focused on her goals and self-improvement, which not many can do this. She reads a lot so she knows what she's talking about. She has her own words and nothing can stop her from growing and moving forward in life. Those qualities are somehow what I was looking for to make somebody as my wife.
You give any hints on getting married anytime soon to him that he is pressured to do so?
I think he was the one who feels pressured that he is not married to me yet. LOL! I was busy focusing on myself because I was unemployed at the time and I need to find my passion and travel around before I settled down. Save up more money and to reach my certain goals first. Which I was busy with working out at the time, just to get myself sorted out by leading a healthy routine. Also to have a rockin' body for myself. Why not. Hahah! But not now though... After being married, I gained so much weight that I looked like a skinny balloon. Still skinny but bloated. You get what I mean? Sigh.
How do you keep the relationship healthy and interesting after marriage?
Until the next post! LOL!
Thanks for stopping by to read this! And thank you for the lovely wishes I received via text, Facebook and Instagram!
X,
Malina
