To Pantang or Not to Pantang?

*To my international readers, this post is written specifically for my fellow Malaysian readers who can understand Bahasa Malaysia and Malay culture about postpartum confinement. This post may contain a few different languages than English :) And Pantang means Confinement in Bahasa Malaysia (in this case after childbirth care for both mother and the newborn).

Biggest question of all: To pantang or not to pantang?

Although I am a millennial, I am not saying that I am a modern human being that does not believe in culture or traditional way of doing things. I still ikut some of the Malay culture that our mak mak told us not to do when we were kids (but not all lah), for example, balik rumah sebelum Maghrib or jangan keluar masa Maghrib or jangan mandi malam, which I do mandi malam just that now dah ada water heater system in the house, so takda lah sejuk sangat nak mandi.

So bila nak bercakap tentang tradisi turun temurun, ikut kata mak mak or nenek moyang kita, one of it would be "Amalan Berpantang Selepas Bersalin". I put this in quote because that is what my doctor/gynae literally did when I ask her about this. Tinggi tangan dia naik to do the quote sign every time she said the word "pantang".

So as you know (or may not), that I am now currently in my third trimester of pregnancy and of course lah banyak benda kena fikir on packing the hospital bags - which bukan takat satu bag untuk the mother je, but ada lagi dua bags nak kena packing - one for the baby, one for the husband. My other concerns include nanti lepas bersalin nak tinggal mana, because my husband for sure will be working only a week after my labour, so tak kan nak tinggal rumah sorang sorang. Alhamdulillah I still have my parents and a sister for me untuk menumpang kasih (LOL!) while taking care of my newborn, inshaAllah. Orang kata kalau lepas beranak, tak boleh duduk rumah sorang because postpartum depression is real, guys! So tak healthy lah kita nak kena jaga anak sorang sorang, takda suami, takda family members and takda siapa for us to rely on to.

Bukan nak jadi clingy or nak depending on other people but you know what I mean. It is an overwhelming event and feeling to have little human being with you for the first time and you need someone with you to get used to it.

Because of this, we tend to need someone to help us go through the day. But if you do not have your immediate family members with you, or relatives or even your friends, this is where you need that confinement lady to help you out.

I am writing this blog bukan secara membabi buta and bukan nak go against it or kata I modern and ada orang kata nanti kalau tak pantang dengan betul, boleh sejuk badan, masuk angin or even meroyan. Well, I did a lot of research about this and even dah approached beberapa gynecologists and medical doctors and also beberapa pakej pantang yang ada di Malaysia untuk tanya more details about it and MY GOD, harga pakej pantang makcik makcik sangat cekik darah! Imagine if you beranak dekat private hospital dah cecah RM3-4k above, imagine pakej pantang ni lagi mahal than that. 14 days pakej pantang dah cecah RM4k above. Baik aku beranak kali kedua dekat the same private hospital. You get what I mean? If you ada banyak duit and takda choice untuk jaga diri and jaga baby after bersalin, then you might be tak kisah to keluar duit sebanyak tu for "berpantang". For me, with that RM4k, you can get the best stroller in town, or the best baby nest/lounger, better options for carseat and create the best nursery room for your baby. You know, spending on things more important than berurut.

Speaking of berurut, below is the list of things most pakej pantang di Malaysia buat (based on 7 different centers yang I tanya):

For mother:

• Urutan pantang/tradisional
• Relaxing massage
• Urutan jenis-jenis herba
• Tangas
• Mandi bunga
• Mandi herba
• Bengkung
• Urutan payudara
• Urutan lancar susu
• Urut peranakan/urutan rahim/sengkak
• Sengkak muka
• Sauna
• Tungku
• Tungku halia
• Hair wash therapy
• Param/pilis/tapel
• Rendaman kaki
• Pakej slimming
• Lulur
• Body mask
• Detox
• Scrub badan
• Penutup pantang
• Ikatkan rambut
• Pakaikan stokin
• Jamu

For newborn:

• Mandi
• Cuci tali pusat
• Urutan bayi
• Tungku
• Tuam bayi
• Bedung

These centers offer the package for 3 days, 7 days, 14/15 days, 44/45 days, and also 90/100 days.

Below is my Q&A session with my gynae during my antenatal checkup visit yesterday and I could not help but to ask everything about "pantang" to her and these are our conversations:

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Q: I have few questions about pantang. Is there any scientific research and whether or not it is scientifically proven that pantang really helps on heal better after bersalin?

A: Here's the thing, define "pantang". What is "pantang", and why orang "berpantang"? In medical term, no such thing as "berpantang". Because our body memang dah ada system untuk heal sendiri. Whatever it is, bersalin ke, accident ke, patah kaki ke, anything, semua Tuhan dah buat our body system untuk heal sendiri. But kita on the other hand, kena jaga-jaga to make sure apa kita consume or buat, takda effect and tak kacau body system tu. So in this case, bersalin, Tuhan dah buat, okay, badan wanita bila bersalin, ada baby semua dekat dalam uterus, mesti ada cara juga untuk Tuhan heal kan balik dalam keadaan asal. From your uterus to jadi this big, dia mesti akan kecut sendiri. In science or medical world, memang ada study that uterus akan mengecut and jadi semula ke bentuk asal (tunjuk fist) dalam masa 45 days. If you tak buat apa-apa pun, memang akan kecut dalam masa 45 hari. Don't worry. That is why pantang orang lama kata berpantang tu biar sampai 44 hari. So if orang dulu-dulu kata berpantang tu is a process of uterus mengecut ke bentuk asal sampai tunggu 44/45 days, then it makes sense. But problem here is, what you do during that period of time. So this is when benda benda mengarut semua ada.

Q: I have done research and tengok all those business pantang buat, ada urutan, tangas and all that, takda any side effect to our body? Because we are in a process of healing, so bila usik those muscles or nerves, tak ganggu body system ke?

A: One thing, berurut memang sedap. Sangat sedap. Especially you lama baring atas katil and asyik terjaga every two hours nak jaga baby, so bila dapat urut tu, rasa relaxed. Tenang. Memang sedap. For example, if you tak pregnant now, you pergi spa and asks for massage and facial, sauna semua tu, memang sedap kan? Jadi tenang. So itu sebenarnya. Berurut just rasa nak sedap badan and nothing to do with masuk angin ke apa. No such thing as masuk angin dalam badan. Takda. Angin atau udara masuk bila kita inhale oxygen melalui our nostrils or mulut, Itu je. Mana ada masuk angin dalam badan. Kalau buang angin through kentut or sendawa, itu your digestive system. Bukan masuk ikut kaki because tak pakai socks and sejuk badan semua tu. Semua itu nonsense. If you want to berurut, silakan. If tak nak, takpa. But have you heard of "Sekak" or "Sengkak" or urutan rahim? That one, sangat sakit. Memang sakit. If you tak selesa with sakit, tell that person tak nak do the sekak thing. But no scientific proven kata sekak boleh turunkan your rahim. If you tak buat tu pun, rahim akan turun sendiri without berurut. So tell that person, no need.

Q: What about pakai bengkung?

A: Bila pakai bengkung, memang sedap. Because perut rasa selesa, rasa everything is tight and perut tak rasa bergerak or "menggelebeh". Bila you dah beranak, your perut jadi macam deflated float, excess fats and skin ada dekat situ. So pakai bengkung tu sama macam berurut, hanya untuk sedap dan selesa. Bengkung tak kan membantu untuk you get your old abs or tummy if you tak workout or do any exercise. So pakailah bengkung lama mana pun, if tak workout, your perut/abs tak kan balik ke rupa asal.

Q: So does that mean we can workout lepas bersalin?

A: Give it a time. Sama macam kalau you sprained your ankle, ada muscle tear, you berehat dulu bagi heal. Maybe a week or two after that, you can start workout dah. You pun ada tengok those mat salleh mana ada pantang-pantang macam kita, their appearance and body lagi elok rupa and also they are much healthier than us. Selain pengambilan makanan sihat, they go and workout. Bukan duduk rumah tak buat apa, terbaring and berurut sampai 44 days.

Q: I ada tengok beberapa packages offer to tungku for newborn. Is that okay?

A: Tungku for the mother I have heard, but the baby, no! Not advisable. Bertungku tu basically sama macam you pergi spa, minta urut with batu panas. That is all. Tak mendatangkan anything except for relaxation. But for baby, no, I would go against that. I don't think its safe because if you kena bertungku, you can tell the lady that the batu is panas for you to handle, but if baby, how can they tell you? So, tungku for baby, total no no. Tak mendatangkan kebaikan and also will harm the baby.

Q: What about pengambilan jamu?

A: First, you cannot consume jamu or any herba for the first few weeks or first month if you breastfeed. Because it will go to your breastmilk that somehow will affect the baby. Kita tak tahu what's inside the jamu, the ingredients and all, takut effect the baby yang baru nak get use to their diet, yang kita tak tahu apa yang dia allergic to. Second of all, jamu sekarang dah commercialized. I doubt they use authentic or natural ingredients to make it. Orang dulu dulu punya jamu, dia sendiri pergi petik all those daun and herba and tumbuk and jadikan air. So kita tahu where does it comes from, but now punya jamu yang macam dalam tin or in powder form, we do not know the source of the ingredients. So, not advisable. One thing, jamu tak sedap. Pahit. Yang penting, eat healthy food, ada cukup fibre, protein, carbs, vitamins, fruits and veggies, tak perlu ambil jamu semua tu. So, jamu is not helping you with anything if you dah ikut pemakanan seimbang.

Q: What about pantang food? Ada kata tak boleh sambal, tak boleh daging, tak boleh minum air sejuk.

A: Itu semua mengarut. Makan lah apa awak nak makan. No such thing makanan tajam lah, makanan sejuk, tak boleh makan ayam lah, tak boleh makan ikan kering. Makan je. Tak jadi masalah. You have to consume healthy, balanced diet. So each meal you take, kena ada protein, carbs, vitamins, high-fiber food, fruits and veggies. No such thing tak boleh makan itu ini. You tengah nak heal, so you kena ambil all dalam food pyramid. And hydrate yourself by drinking plenty of water. Orang dulu dulu kata minum dua gelas air je sehari, mana cukup. You nak heal properly, so kena minum banyak air. Also ada juga kata tak boleh duduk dalam aircond, nanti sejuk. You buka je aircond. Tak kan nak berpanas sampai berpeluh. Buka je aircond, kalau sejuk, pakai selimut or jacket ke.

Q: Pantang orang tua kata tak boleh minum air banyak sedangkan we need to drink a lot to heal and to breastfeed.

A: This is another one yang nonsense. It makes no sense at all, You nak heal, you nak breastfeed, you dehydrate, and yet you tak boleh minum air banyak. Nonsense. You need to hydrate yourself. Kalau dia bagi air sikit, you curi-curi minum je. You need more water now that you are in the process of healing.

Q: What about param/pilis/tapel?

A: Tak membantu dalam process nak heal.

Q: Ikatkan rambut bagi tegang?

A: Angin tak masuk ikut kepala. Itu yang silap, angin tak masuk ikut mana mana kecuali bila you bernafas. You inhale ikut hidung and mulut, itu lah angin nya. So sampai nak sikat rambut, ikat ketat-ketat, that is all for nothing. Rasa sedap je lah orang main rambut kita.

Q: Why ada mandi bunga and mandi herba and all?

A: If you nak rasa layanan seperti seorang puteri, silakan. Because bila lagi orang nak datang rumah, mandikan you, petik bunga satu-satu letak dalam bathtub or baldi, siramkan atas kepala, you duduk je situ diam-diam. Bila lagi. Tak kan nak panggil masa you bukan bersalin, dah buang tebiat ke apa pula kan. Orang dulu dulu mana ada sabun, shower gel, bath gel with scent, floral scent semua tu. Orang dulu takda sabun, so kena lah mandi bunga. Bila lepas bersalin, kita ada darah nifas. Darah nifas tu lagi teruk bau than darah haid. Bau lagi hanyir. So tu yang orang dulu kena mandi bunga. Tak mandi biasa. Tapi kalau zaman sekarang dah ada macam-macam jenis shower gel bau lagi wangi than the bunga itself, so mandi lah pakai sabun. Lagi bersih, lagi wangi.

Q: Berpantang tak boleh keluar rumah. Kena stay at home for the whole period of pantang. So if 44 days pantang, tak boleh keluar langsung for 44 days?

A: Mengarut. Itu diorang panggil tak boleh jejak tanah. Orang dulu dulu agaknya takda kasut, takda selipar. So family members dia tak bagi keluar rumah because kaki kotor pijak tanah. Boleh kena penyakit kalau tak pakai kasut bila keluar. Zaman sekarang dah ada kasut, kita pun travel naik kereta. Bukan jalan kaki dekat tepi jalan penuh tanah. So nak keluar, keluar lah. If you larat and also if you think that will make you happy, then keluar. No problem. If duduk rumah tak jumpa orang, tak tengok dunia luar sampai 44 days, boleh depressed. So to make you happy, tak depressed, go ahead. Boleh keluar rumah.

Q: What is "meroyan"? Orang dulu kata kalau tak buat proper pantang, boleh meroyan.

A: Saya pun tak tahu apa term meroyan tu. Kalau nak kata depression, yes, postpartum depression is real. But tengok balik apa source, apa sebab jadi meroyan. Kalau tak bagi keluar rumah, tak bagi makan daging, tak cukup minum air, duduk dalam keadaan panas takda aircond, of course boleh jadi rimas and depressed. Kena ada orang with you, for you to get the groove on the newborn. Kena ada strong support system from family and friends.

Q: To conclude, perlu tak berpantang secara tradisional?

A: Up to you. For me, its all back to one thing; your relationship with your family members/relatives. Kalau dah mak mak and your aunts and grandmas semua suruh you pantang juga, ikut kan je lah. Because tak nak gaduh, tak nak naik suara. Jaga hubungan sesama keluarga lebih penting. But if let's say, sesuatu activity tu boleh memudaratkan you, then you politely say no. Contohnya, minum jamu. You tak percaya the source and apa sebenarnya dalam jamu tu, then you can bawa that jamu and flush down the toilet. Buat belakang-belakang, jangan bagi orang lain terasa. Also kalau orang tak bagi you minum air, you pergi minum senyap-senyap. Duduk dalam bilik ada aircond senyap-senyap. Takpa. Daripada kita pun stress nak gaduh and keep on saying no boleh sampai depressed, kan susah tu. Also, if dia nak urut rahim atau sengkak, yang tu you boleh say no to tukang urut because boleh membahayakan your body system. Rahim tak perlu diurut. Dia akan turun sendiri. Yang penting, consume healthy diet, keep yourself hydrated, lead a healthy lifestyle, workout, go out or do whatever makes you happy so that you tak depressed - or maybe tak "meroyan" if we want to use that term, then we're okay. Kalau your family members boleh terima your opinion about this and decided not to do the traditional pantang, then don't do it. Bazir duit je nak bayar package semua tu. Because tak perlu pun, your body is amazing, Allah dah buat for your body to heal itself.

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There you go. What a long conversation between my gynae and I. Hopefully, this post dapat bagi benefit untuk sesiapa yang clueless like me. LOL. My dad, my husband and I memang against this amalan berpantang because I did not see any benefits or sebab yang munasabah untuk I buat and also untuk keluar duit sebanyak tu. Bukan kedekut, but I belajar untuk pandai berbelanja and pandai menilai sesuatu benda sebelum I proceed to do it. If takda mendatangkan kebaikan and lagi banyak memudaratkan diri sendiri and orang sekeliling, then I won't do it. I will not do something just because it is adat turun temurun since 1900 or I won't just do membabi buta just because orang lain asks me to do it.

Plus, for me, it's always Science > Culture. I believe in science... LOL!

Ada I tengok pakej pantang sampai ada kemaskan rumah, do laundry, masakkan makanan pantang, mandikan baby. Well, for me, dekat situ, husband kena mainkan peranan sebagai seorang suami. This whole pregnancy thing, bukan the mother je yang kena hadap, the father pun ada roles dia. If the mother yang beranakkan, yang hadap sakit, yang kena breastfeed, so tugas seorang suami and seorang bapa kena lah buat kerja rumah sikit. Takat laundry, masuk baju dalam washing machine je. Bukan kena sental beriya guna baldi. And kemaskan rumah? Allahu, vacuum pun once a week je. Do dishes, every time habis makan kena basuh pinggan, so memang tak kan ada pinggan berlonggok dalam sink. Nak masak? This is the tricky part, maybe some husbands ada yang tak reti masak. If you duduk rumah parents after labour, if parents larat nak masak, then boleh minta tolongkan masak. Or suami boleh tengok resepi online. If memang takda orang juga nak masak for the mother, then you can opt for that, or ambil maid ke. For me, I won't simply trust anybody to cook for me, lagi lagi kalau dia masuk my kitchen and use my stuff like its their own. I don't know, that is my opinion lah. And mandikan baby? Maybe the first few days tu, you might need someone with more experience to show you until you get the hang of it, but after that, si suami boleh lah tolong. Si ibu pula, kena lah belajar buat sendiri. Sampai bila nak minta orang lain mandikan anak kita sendiri. Kan? Second of all, I do not trust some strangers to datang rumah and ke hulu ke hilir dalam rumah like their own house. I mean, maybe this comes from experience that we never had a maid before since I was a little kid, so, its only the four of us at home and to have somebody from God-knows-where inside our home, I don't feel safe or at ease. I don't know their background, their lifestyle, where they have been, their penyakit (if there's any), their habits, ada any weird perangai ke, you know, stuff like that.

Alhamdulillah, I have the most supportive husband and parents and sister and in-laws to help me get through this. Syukur dapat suami yang tak malas buat kerja rumah and sendiri yang meng-offerkan diri to do things without me asking him. Bless you, sayang. Also syukur ada Mommy, Daddy and Sissy for agreeing and wanting to take care of me and my newborn soon and allow us to stay at their place for as long as we want sampai we get the groove on living with the new addition to the family.

InshaAllah.

Semoga Allah permudahkan segala urusan kita, dunia dan akhirat. Ameen.

Love, MA