I AM PREGNANT!

Being pregnant and knowing that you are pregnant are absolute no joke.

We certainly did not plan or expect this to happen but God knows best and He knows more than you do that you are ready for this next chapter in life.

Being born.

Growing up as a kid.

School.

Universities.

Graduated.

Job interviews.

Getting a new job.

Excited for having a long term relationship with someone who is finally serious with you and you also want him too.

Get engaged.

Being married.

Switching jobs.

And now, being PREGNANT.

God has a beautiful way to guide you through it all and here I am. With the weight of 59kg (previously I was 52kg before I got pregnant) and fluffier cheeks and fingers and toes, huge appetite, wanting to sleep all the time, back ache, vomiting and to have a husband who is extraordinarily nice even sometimes I got superbly moody (sometimes?), God is great.

Never in my life that I could be relaxing, lounging in my bedroom, on this king-sized bed, with Mozart/piano classical songs on Spotify running through my ears and perhaps my growing baby in this belly can hear it too, while blogging this, typing these words... that I am pregnant. With a smile on my face. Happy, motherly smile I would say.

How did I get the news? How did I find out that I am pregnant? Here I go...

I have been having this sore breasts for like a month now and I told my husband about it that he wanted to bring me to see a doctor for a checkup but I said no, every single time. Because I was in denial. I thought it was breast cancer or something. It hurts so bad that it grows and I can feel that it is tight and hard. But never in my mind I would think that it is one of the symptoms of pregnancy. I do not have a regular menstrual cycle so not having my period during that month was just a normal day for me.

A month goes by.

I was at work, it was almost lunch time. I called my husband and told him that I think I should go for a checkup because it hurts like hell. He picked me up from work, I asked for a time off and went to the clinic I usually go to. Told my doctor about it and she said, "I think we should go for a urine test." Still, I haven't had a single clue that I was pregnant. I thought it was something else.

Peed in a small jar. Passed it to the nurse.

5 minutes later. Doctor calls my name. Both husband and I entered the consultation room.

"You see these two lines???"

I looked at my husband, staring at him with my eyes wide open.

"No, doctor. What does these two lines means?". Because ladies and gentlemen, I have never done any pregnancy test before so I do not know what is that stick doing with lines.

"These two lines means, you are pregnant! Congratulations!"

My eyes were wide open, swear to God it looked like my eyeballs are gonna fall out. I looked at my husband again, then the doctor started to explain things, pills, vitamins, dieting, this and that but everything was blur for me. I kept looking at the stick with two lines.

"I'm pregnant? Seriously? There is an actual human being inside me right now?"

So the doctor started asking me when was my last period, I said I don't know because I never keep track on it, never really count the days and what not, never bothers about getting pregnant and all because I just thought that it won't happen to me, yet.

So, folic acid once a day.

Calcium and some multivitamins. Iron. Vitamin C and B3.

It was (& still is!) surreal knowing that I am pregnant.

Out from the clinic, my husband hugged me tightly, "We are going to be parents!"

I was still in shocked and I was laughing scarily, both laughing and crying at the same time. I asked my husband thousands of questions, "Do you think I can be a mom? Like a good mom? Like I mean, really good mom? Do you think I have what it takes?"

That is what I did when I freaked out. I tend to ask millions questions that I know I won't give them time to actually answer me. Those questions were meant for myself, that I just said it out loud.

Back in the office.

Immediately told my teammates because I freaked out. Of course with a smile on my face but... on the inside... it was more than just freaking out. Overwhelming. And I just couldn't remember how the rest of the day went. Maybe I fell asleep in my husband's arms or maybe I cried myself to sleep, I don't know. LOL!

Well, there you go.

A little bit of an introduction of my pregnancy journey.

Day one of knowing there is an actual person inside me.

Alhamdulillah. God is great.

I am truly blessed. No joke. X