25 March 2020 | Wednesday
Week 39 Day 2 - MONTHLY CHECKUP
MCO time. Had to travel from my parents' place to the hospital for our second last checkup before my estimated due date (EDD). Everything was normal, my gynae checked and I haven't dilated yet. Not even 1cm. So I need one more checkup, no need to be admitted today. Alhamdulillah, baby is okay, she is taking her own sweet time to be inside me. Not ready to face the world yet due to the pandemic, I guess. What a smart girl. My gynae asks me to walk a lot, do squats and sit on a gym ball to ease the labour process, to have the dilation faster. Well, I was a lazy-ass mom-to-be, so all I did was walking from the living room to the kitchen and walking up and down the stairs to/from my room and some squats. I did sit on my gym ball but not so often. Just "cukup syarat". LOL! My bump was so heavy since the baby is already "dropped" or in position for labour / lightening. The baby can come out anytime soon now, I just had to prepare myself, physically, mentally, spiritually & emotionally for this new role as a "mother". It sounds weird but I'll do my best. By this time, my husband already packed our hospital bags and put all of them in the car, in case of emergency (water breaks, bleeding). Our hospital outfit is prepared and hanged in the closet, ready to be worn.
30 March 2020 | Monday
Week 40 - EDD CHECKUP & ADMISSION
Day one when the government announces that we Malaysians cannot travel more than 10km. Though we had to travel to Gleneagles Hospital in Jalan Ampang, Kuala Lumpur for our EDD/week 40 checkup, but everything was easy. Went through only one roadblock and told policemen that we have prenatal checkup, and of course, they let us go. Hospital bags were in the trunk, we are ready in case if I need to be warded immediately. Reached the hospital, went up to level 7, in we go to the consultation room. It was no fun when the gynae tries to check the dilation, manually, vaginally. It is only 1cm. She told me that one labour room is booked for me today at 10pm, in case if the dilation can be 5cm by 3pm. She asked my husband and I, whether we want to go home first and we can come back later when my water breaks or the contraction starts to feel more frequent and more intense or whether I want to be admitted right now and wait for the labour to start at the maternity ward. We decided to be warded right away because it will be a troublesome to travel here and there during this MCO period. It'll be easy to just wait at the ward.
By the way, due to this pandemic, the government has imposed the rule of taking the Covid-19 test to whoever that needs to be warded, no matter of their illness/reason(s) to be admitted to the hospital. My only reason is to go for a labour, hence, I need to take the test.
We registered at the registration counter in the lobby at Block A of Gleneagles Hospital, it took quite awhile for them to call out my name though I have pre-registered earlier. Then, deposit of RM6500 needs to be paid upon admission. After that, my name was called for the Covid-19 test. One healthcare worker assisted me to the A&E area, leaving my husband alone at the registration counter. I was freakin' nervous because I am aware of the procedure for the test. So as we walked to the A&E room, I asked the healthcare worker, "Does it really hurt? Especially the nostril part?" and she replied with, "Let's just say that it is very uncomfortable, but I think you can handle it" and she walked me through a room with two staffs covered in hazmat suit, saying, "Come on in, *and told the healthcare worker to close the door for her and she needs to stay outside*, I cannot touch anything else other than the swab for the test. How are you today?" and of course I told her I was nervous and asked if it really hurts and she said, "I'm not gonna lie to you, it is not the best thing ever, it will be a little uncomfortable" and she explains to me that there are gonna be two swabs; one through nostril, the other one is through mouth to get to the throat. And she sadly said, "The youngest one I did so far is a 5-day old baby, its tough, but I had to do it". 5 days, guys. 5 freakin days.
That is when a long-ass cotton bud with thin-ass stick down my throat through my left nostril. It was a weird sensation, painful and annoying, felt like something burning around my sinus area. Tears were rolling down both of my cheeks. She swabbed it good for whole 5 seconds and she took it out and onto the new cotton bud, for my throat. Then she said, "This time, I need you to say Aaaahh, until you gag." Okay, gag. I don't like the sound of it but okay. It wasn't that bad. Compared to what my nostril has been through, throat was doing alright. Then she yelled, "Alright, open the door! She's done!", the same healthcare worker opened the door and assisted me out, back to my husband's arms. I was crying and I just can't wait for this to be over. I wanted to get out of that place and just go back and just give birth at home. I was stressed out because I was and will be alone (for the delivery) to face the biggest event of my life, without my husband with me.
Then, another hospital staff assisted my husband and I to the maternity ward. I asked for one-bedded room and with extra single bed for my husband.
So yeah, I was admitted on week 40. Waiting for active labour or any contractions to start but I did not feel anything. No pain, at all. Nurses kept on come and go and asked questions, "Can you feel any contractions yet?", "Any painful sensation?". Nope. Absolutely nothing. I feel like it is my normal day at home and I was thinking, "Should I be here, in the ward right now? Is this really happening? Is my baby coming out soon? Maybe I should be at home. My baby is not coming out today." Then my gynae came in and checked the dilation. Still 1cm at 3pm. So she asked me to walk around the maternity ward to get the dilation happening. She was disappointed that I was napping on the hospital bed instead of exercising and walking around when she visited me in the ward. There is something about hospital beds and the A/C that make me sleepy and wants to sleep all the time. LOL!
Since my dilation is only 1cm, my gynae cancels the 10pm labour room reservation and let the waiting game begins until tomorrow morning to "manually" dilating me. So, we shall see.
31 March 2020 | Tuesday
Week 40 Day 1 - (ACTIVE) LABOUR DAY
I am one day past my EDD. My gynae came to the ward and checked my dilation. It is still 1cm, unfortunately. So she had to do what she was about to do. Manually dilating me. By manually, it means she needs to "force-open" my cervix with her fingers. And umm, it was very uncomfortable. It doesn't hurt that much (remember my nostril?), but it was, wow. I did not expect that. I did not know that there is such a thing as dilating it in that manner. LOL! But, to look on the bright side, hey, I am 3cm dilated! Woohoo!
My gynae advised me to walk more to get the dilation at least to 5cm before we can go to the labour room, as she already booked for labour room for me at 2pm. I did not think of it as delivering my baby right away, I assumed it was just to have my epidural and I will be back in the ward while waiting for contractions. I still remember my gynae said to us earlier, "I have a booked a labour room for you at 2pm, so we can go there after your lunch and after Zuhur. You can pray jemaah with your husband and we can go after 2pm."
For those who don't know, I opted for epidural with normal birth mainly because my pain threshold is too damn low so I do not want to feel the contractions or the pushing part or the tearing and stitching part, hence, the epidural.
11am - Laxative / suppository (rectal route) was inserted. I got shot while lying on my side, it was unpleasant because I was supposed to hold it for good 10 minutes but I had to go number two right after the nurse left the room. I gave it like 30 seconds then everything was out. Thank goodness I made it to the toilet just in time before the explosion happens. Haha!
2pm - After our solat jemaah, it was 2pm sharp. Nurse came in and asked if I'm ready to go now, told her I will be out in a minute. Taking some time with my husband because apparently due to this Covid-19, another person is not allowed to be in the labour room with the patient. So, imagine going to the labour room without my husband with me. I did not bring my phone to the labour room with me because I really thought it was going to be the epidural insertion then I will be back to my husband in the ward but hell no. I had to stay in the labour room, alone, without my husband, without my phone, waiting for my baby to come out, anytime soon. Sigh. It was a difficult time but I remain calm, telling myself its going to be alright.
First, I was immediately connected to a cardiotocography (CTG) machine - placed on my stomach - to monitor fetal's heartbeat and my contractions. Then, a nurse asked me, "Do you want to start the dilation now? Or you want to wait for epidural first? Because if you want to start the dilation now, I can proceed with inserting oxytocin (pitocin) but you can feel the pain of contraction. Or you cannot handle the pain?", of course I told her I want to wait for epidural first because I do not want to feel any pain, at all.
4pm - Epidural time. An aesthetician finally came in to the labour room. (Still not contacting my husband - for 2 hours now) The procedure is to inject a local anaesthetic in to the space around spinal nerves on my lower back - I had to sit down for this - instead of lying on my side. It took around 15 minutes for her to setup and tape stuff on my back until she injects it in. She was very friendly, I loved her, very "mak-mak modern" type of lady, telling stories about her life and kids and told me that this Covid-19 sucks with the fact that my husband could not be inside the labour room with me while she's working on my back. LOL!
First injection - first anaesthesia is to numb the area before the epidural injection. Give it about 5 mins until the area is completely numb, then, the epidural!
Second injection - Epidural. It was not a great feeling. I can feel the needle going down, towards my tailbone. As she inserting it, I was crying. It was painful, I'm not gonna lie. Because the first injection is to numb the exact place to inject a hole on my back, but not to numb my whole lower back that I can feel it traveling down. Maybe its my (very) low pain threshold that I feel it very painful or maybe I cried because my husband was not there with me to hold my hands and kiss my forehead and tell me its gonna be okay and I got this. I had to replay the last time my husband did and said to me before I went inside the labour room. I think that's the reason why I was crying while the epidural is inserted, not because of pain or anything. Haha! So the needle for epidural is in, but not the epidural analgesia yet. They need to proceed with the pitocin to induce my labour, to start the contraction, to have my cervix to dilate more than 3cm.
5pm - Still no contraction. Zero. Nada. Then pitocin comes in. My gynae comes in and explains to me the pitocin and stuff. Basically, pitocin is a natural hormone that causes the uterus to contract used to induce labour, to enter into active labour and strengthen labour contractions. Once the pitocin's in (via injection on my wrist - branch it into two - one for dilute oxytocin solution drip, the other one is IV drip), the contraction will start. Right after the pitocin, its epidural time. I can feel the coldness of the solution running through the needles and into my spine. Like literally can feel it fill in the epidural space of my lower back. Love the sensation. Then, insertion of the urinary catheter to collect urine from the bladder since I cannot move or go to the toilet (due to epidural). Basically I cannot feel the bottom half of my body. I pinched my thigh, nope, cannot feel a thing. Epidural is amazing, ladies!
7pm - The CTG machine shows that I am having a strong, frequent contractions. But I don't feel a thangggg! Thanks to my new best friend; epidural, I was busy having my dinner while watching TV, happily. Nurse came in and saw the CTG and told me that it was amazing that I still can have my meal while big contraction is happening. Hahah! Then another nurse came in and gave me a phone and said "Your husband was at the entrance and asked to pass you your phone". Yay! At last, my phone's here, I can finally contact my husband! Immediately FaceTime him and that was the best moment ever, to have him "inside" the labour room with me. Update him with everything (and I cried a bit...) and doctor came in to check my dilation while I was on the phone with my husband. I was still at 3cm and we shall wait until I can push this tiny human being out of me.
11pm - I was sleeping, epidural side effects on me were sleepy and shivering. Though I am on epidural, I can feel the contractions are getting stronger. The pressure woke me up from my sleep and its making me feel like pushing something out though I don't feel the pain. I felt the urge to pass motion, so I called the nurse, she checked on my dilation, she said I am at 8cm that I can start to push at 11.30pm and she will call the doctor since I am already in active labour. Wow, am I ready to do this? Is it really, now? I'm going to have a baby soon! She is coming out soon!
11.30pm - Push time! I kept on repeating "Allahu la illa ha' illa anta subhannaka inni kuntu minna zzalimin". Nurse came in, "Okay, you can push now. Imagine like you need to pass motion, push it hard. Once you feel the contraction, take a deep breath and push it hard for as long as you could. Don't take a second breath, you'll lose the momentum to push. Once your breath is at max, relax. Breathe like normal and wait for another contraction to come to push once more. Just keep pushing whenever you feel the contraction." It was intense since I feel the contraction every 30 seconds. I took one deep breath, I pushed it long and hard for 15 seconds and rest. I breathe normally for 15 seconds to get ready for another round of pushing.
11.45pm - My doctor came into the labour room, perhaps she only comes once my dilation hits a certain number of cm or maybe when its birth crowning (the appearance of baby's head). So she took over and guided me through on what to do, when to push, how hard to push and what to recite. She helped me a lot in calming me by reciting surah, zikir and duas. I pushed it hard for half an hour and Alhamdulillah, heard her high-pitched cry and voice for the very first time. Immediately fell in love.
1 April 2020 | Wednesday
Week 40 Day 2
12.01am - Alhamdulillah, I safely delivered a healthy baby girl, weighing at 3.21kg, 50cm tall (so cute, LOL!), with a head circumference of 34cm on April 1st, 2020, Wednesday. Alhamdulillah, I am beyond grateful and I am officially a mom to a beautiful baby girl! Tabarakallah. Allah is Great.
12.15am - After the delivery, skin-to-skin contact, delivery of placenta, first breastfeeding, stitching and settling down, I finally can reach my phone to FaceTime my husband. It was heartbreaking that he cannot be there in the labour room to witness the birth of our first, precious child, but Alhamdulillah, everything was easy. Allah ease my labour journey. Still remember my husband's face when he first saw the face of our daughter (via FaceTime). It was priceless.
Nurse came in, told me that my baby needs to be cleaned and brought to the nursery and I needed to rest for a solid hour before heading back to the maternity ward. I told the nurse to bring my baby along with me since my husband hasn't met his newborn daughter yet, also for azan & qamat. The nurse cleaned me up, I was all dressed up with a fresh, new hospital gown and they brought me in once my baby is ready from the nursery.
2am - Maternity ward with my daughter, finally reunited with my husband after 12 hours. He finally met his daughter, did azan & qamat to her and I finally feel at home. Alhamdulillah. I had no energy to blast the news to the family, so my husband was the reporter. Big thanks to you, sayang! ILYSMOMG!
2 April 2020 | Thursday
Day 1
I got one whole day of resting on April 1st (since my baby was born at 12 midnight) and it is time for discharge! We managed to cleared out billings and filling out paperworks and a lot of things to do and keep for the baby's registration at JPN and everything. Got into the car at 5pm and off we go. Onto a new journey; PARENTHOOD.
Signing off as a new mother to a precious and beautiful baby girl,
Malina Azman x
