Sunday, November 1, 2020

SAHM vs WM vs WFHM




I posted a question in my Instastory on Instagram, asking moms around me; Would love to hear opinions about whether they're stay-at-home moms, working moms or working-from-home moms. 69% of moms who participated are either working/working from home moms and 31% are stay at home moms.

And my next question was to describe and share how is it going for them so far to be in those situations. Here are some of the answers:

Stay-At-Home Mom (SAHM)

Pros

  • More time with kids and family
  • More time at home
  • Have time to tidy up the house
  • Have time to prepare food
  • Have time to do chores
  • More consistent routines/ Stick to schedules
  • Can focus on kids
  • Get to interact with other SAHM
  • Always there for the kids for everything; first word, first step
  • Understand the kids more

Cons

  • No me-time
  • No breaks, constant chores
  • Overwhelming/frustration
  • Feel trapped
  • Reduced finances to the household income
  • Wishing to have more me-time
  • Hardly to have social life
  • Boredom/loneliness
  • Miss to have conversations with adults, in person

Working Mom (WM)

Pros

  • Me-time
  • More time to do other things
  • More focus on work
  • Easy to prioritise and allocate time to do something
  • Adding more income to the household
  • Become positive role models
  • Raising kids to be more independent
  • Have stories to tell other than personal life
  • Good standard of living
  • No dependence on the husband
  • Still have a social life
  • Have conversations with adults on daily-basis
Cons

  • No time for kids and family
  • Less time at home
  • Limited amount of time to do chores
  • More tired and more stress
  • Constant worry of kids being away
  • Missed out on the kids' progress while being away
  • Kids may feel alone

Working-From-Home Mom (WFHM)

This is something that I can relate to since I am one. I have been working from home since March (even before Alana was born, due to MCO - Covid-19 first wave in Malaysia) until today and Alhamdulillah it gets much easier now compared to the first few weeks I started working from home with a baby after my maternity leave ends. Here are some of the answers from WFH moms, also added points from my end too:

Pros

  • More time to spend at home
  • Have time to cook and prepare food
  • Have time to prepare food
  • Have time to do chores
  • Adding more income to the household / more stable finances if the husband is working too
  • Have stories to tell other than personal life
  • Good standard of living
  • No dependence on the husband
  • Have conversations with adults on daily-basis, but virtually

Cons

  • Lack of focus to do work
  • Lack of focus to take care of the household
  • Hard to juggle between two roles at the same time
  • Super-stressed trying to keep up
  • No social life, physically (but since it's MCO, everybody basically does not have a social life outside their home anymore)
  • No me-time
  • No breaks
  • Constant responsibilities
  • So little time, so many things to do

These are common answers I received from you mommies on Instagram. Thank you for your participation and thank you for your honest opinions about your current situation as a mom.

My intention to do this is not to see who's the best or the worst nor to compare between moms. I want to know how challenging it is once you become a mom. Doesn't matter if you're working or staying at home, we all have our own hustles, hurdles and life to deal with. We go through these pros and cons for our loved ones. Everybody wants to do the best, be their best and give their best to ensure happiness for the family.

No one has it harder or easier. First rule of being a mom: Do it your own way, stop comparing yourself with other moms out there and never ever compare your child with others. Focus on providing the best you can, inshaAllah, God will make it easy for you. Trust me, it'll get better. Well, you will get more tired each and every day (LOL) but you will get used to it as time goes by. SAHM, WM, WFM and all kinds of moms in the world, keep it up. You are doing your best and I am proud of you X

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