Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Freakin' Flawful

We live in a world that full of people who are too busy trying to find faults and flaws of others that they tend to overlook theirs. Sometimes we are searching for someone's flaw(s) because we want to avoid ours. Sometimes we want to look and feel good and find great excuses to realize and take time to know our own flaws by ignoring it.

At times, other people have to scream your flaws direct to your face to make you realized that, "Hey, I am indeed flawful."

Yes, everybody has their own flaws. I am willing to jump off a building if I found a single flawless person. And I am not saying about flaws as in your physical appearance. I have seen so many flawless people out there, with a perfect eyebrows, perfect set of eyes, hair, skin, that long, toned arms and legs (damn you, Blake Lively & Kendall Jenner, not to mention Alexis Ren too), I am talking about your attitudes, behaviours, characteristics. Those things that make you who you are as a person. Or sometimes it doesn't have to be a person, but you get what I mean.

Your background, history, experience, future endeavour or plans and spirit, sometimes determine who you are today. A single day most probably could change you. Or maybe within an hour. Things that happened and is happening and will happen around you in the future; decides your path and affects how you see things. But it is not necessarily bound to happen if you didn't take it as lessons or mistakes, but any situation will make you think of something. Maybe it could change your perspectives in life. It doesn't have to be some "deep", emo stuff, but just, new ways of how you set ideas in mind.

Excuse the lengthy introduction.

I may have experienced some stuff at the moment and yes, it is about being flawful. It is not that I am a wiseacre that I know I may have offended some people, but I think it is the way I was raised since I was a baby. I do not say that I am perfect but I search for perfections. I am a firm believer of perfection in anything I do. Things that I do, for example, doing projects and assignments, even doing house chores, in friendships, in relationships, everything (you name it), all based on doing the best I could that anyone can't see the faults in me. But, that is my great flaw.

Me being a perfectionist in everything.

I went to this job interview recently, and the company's representatives who interviewed me, saw my CV that is full with my projects and they saw my position for every project mentioned; it is either I am the leader or I work alone. So they asked me this question: "So I saw your projects, and all of the positions typed here mentioned that either you're the leader or you worked individually? Why? Is it because you love being at the top or you can't trust  other people?". It was shocking for me to hear that I simply answered, "One thing about my weakness is that, I am perfectionist." There goes my hopes and dreams, down the drain.

Guys, NEVER EVER mention to any employer during your job interviews that you are a perfectionist. Trust me, you won't get that job. LOL!

I wanted to do things according to my way. I do listen to my mates of their ways and ideas and I do take it into account, but at times, I slipped. That is for projects, assignments and house chores.

And you seriously don't want to know how I acted for my friendships as well relationships.

I thought that being a person who loves everything in perfect orders is, okay? But I guess not. People will hate you for that. You can't live in a society and will end up alone because everything does not revolve around you. You can't expect people to accommodate you based on your expectations. It kills.

One thing that I learned from it; I still can do my best, according to my way but don't expect other people to deliver it like how you do it. You are not them and they are not you. It is more than enough if you and that person know where you guys are heading to, and that your goals are the same, you guys are good to go. Screw their ways of doing things. Let them be. If you love your ways in doing things, they love theirs. You may want to add up some few tips to them on how to make their life easier and in a proper manner by doing your way, but you can't force them to use it. And vice versa.

It is not hard to do it but it is hard for you to digest the fact that you are flawful. It is A-Okay for you to have flaws. Nobody's perfect in this world, hence, stop chasing for perfection because you can never find one; including yourself. Everybody needs a few flaws to make them real. Cheers.

Malina Azman, x

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