My Labour Journey / Diary

25 March 2020 | Wednesday

Week 39 Day 2 - MONTHLY CHECKUP

MCO time. Had to travel from my parents' place to the hospital for our second last checkup before my estimated due date (EDD). Everything was normal, my gynae checked and I haven't dilated yet. Not even 1cm. So I need one more checkup, no need to be admitted today. Alhamdulillah, baby is okay, she is taking her own sweet time to be inside me. Not ready to face the world yet due to the pandemic, I guess. What a smart girl. My gynae asks me to walk a lot, do squats and sit on a gym ball to ease the labour process, to have the dilation faster. Well, I was a lazy-ass mom-to-be, so all I did was walking from the living room to the kitchen and walking up and down the stairs to/from my room and some squats. I did sit on my gym ball but not so often. Just "cukup syarat". LOL! My bump was so heavy since the baby is already "dropped" or in position for labour / lightening. The baby can come out anytime soon now, I just had to prepare myself, physically, mentally, spiritually & emotionally for this new role as a "mother". It sounds weird but I'll do my best. By this time, my husband already packed our hospital bags and put all of them in the car, in case of emergency (water breaks, bleeding). Our hospital outfit is prepared and hanged in the closet, ready to be worn.

30 March 2020 | Monday

Week 40 - EDD CHECKUP & ADMISSION

Day one when the government announces that we Malaysians cannot travel more than 10km. Though we had to travel to Gleneagles Hospital in Jalan Ampang, Kuala Lumpur for our EDD/week 40 checkup, but everything was easy. Went through only one roadblock and told policemen that we have prenatal checkup, and of course, they let us go. Hospital bags were in the trunk, we are ready in case if I need to be warded immediately. Reached the hospital, went up to level 7, in we go to the consultation room. It was no fun when the gynae tries to check the dilation, manually, vaginally. It is only 1cm. She told me that one labour room is booked for me today at 10pm, in case if the dilation can be 5cm by 3pm. She asked my husband and I, whether we want to go home first and we can come back later when my water breaks or the contraction starts to feel more frequent and more intense or whether I want to be admitted right now and wait for the labour to start at the maternity ward. We decided to be warded right away because it will be a troublesome to travel here and there during this MCO period. It'll be easy to just wait at the ward.

By the way, due to this pandemic, the government has imposed the rule of taking the Covid-19 test to whoever that needs to be warded, no matter of their illness/reason(s) to be admitted to the hospital. My only reason is to go for a labour, hence, I need to take the test.

We registered at the registration counter in the lobby at Block A of Gleneagles Hospital, it took quite awhile for them to call out my name though I have pre-registered earlier. Then, deposit of RM6500 needs to be paid upon admission. After that, my name was called for the Covid-19 test. One healthcare worker assisted me to the A&E area, leaving my husband alone at the registration counter. I was freakin' nervous because I am aware of the procedure for the test. So as we walked to the A&E room, I asked the healthcare worker, "Does it really hurt? Especially the nostril part?" and she replied with, "Let's just say that it is very uncomfortable, but I think you can handle it" and she walked me through a room with two staffs covered in hazmat suit, saying, "Come on in, *and told the healthcare worker to close the door for her and she needs to stay outside*, I cannot touch anything else other than the swab for the test. How are you today?" and of course I told her I was nervous and asked if it really hurts and she said, "I'm not gonna lie to you, it is not the best thing ever, it will be a little uncomfortable" and she explains to me that there are gonna be two swabs; one through nostril, the other one is through mouth to get to the throat. And she sadly said, "The youngest one I did so far is a 5-day old baby, its tough, but I had to do it". 5 days, guys. 5 freakin days.

That is when a long-ass cotton bud with thin-ass stick down my throat through my left nostril. It was a weird sensation, painful and annoying, felt like something burning around my sinus area. Tears were rolling down both of my cheeks. She swabbed it good for whole 5 seconds and she took it out and onto the new cotton bud, for my throat. Then she said, "This time, I need you to say Aaaahh, until you gag." Okay, gag. I don't like the sound of it but okay. It wasn't that bad. Compared to what my nostril has been through, throat was doing alright. Then she yelled, "Alright, open the door! She's done!", the same healthcare worker opened the door and assisted me out, back to my husband's arms. I was crying and I just can't wait for this to be over. I wanted to get out of that place and just go back and just give birth at home. I was stressed out because I was and will be alone (for the delivery) to face the biggest event of my life, without my husband with me.

Then, another hospital staff assisted my husband and I to the maternity ward. I asked for one-bedded room and with extra single bed for my husband.

So yeah, I was admitted on week 40. Waiting for active labour or any contractions to start but I did not feel anything. No pain, at all. Nurses kept on come and go and asked questions, "Can you feel any contractions yet?", "Any painful sensation?". Nope. Absolutely nothing. I feel like it is my normal day at home and I was thinking, "Should I be here, in the ward right now? Is this really happening? Is my baby coming out soon? Maybe I should be at home. My baby is not coming out today." Then my gynae came in and checked the dilation. Still 1cm at 3pm. So she asked me to walk around the maternity ward to get the dilation happening. She was disappointed that I was napping on the hospital bed instead of exercising and walking around when she visited me in the ward. There is something about hospital beds and the A/C that make me sleepy and wants to sleep all the time. LOL!

Since my dilation is only 1cm, my gynae cancels the 10pm labour room reservation and let the waiting game begins until tomorrow morning to "manually" dilating me. So, we shall see.

31 March 2020 | Tuesday

Week 40 Day 1 - (ACTIVE) LABOUR DAY

I am one day past my EDD. My gynae came to the ward and checked my dilation. It is still 1cm, unfortunately. So she had to do what she was about to do. Manually dilating me. By manually, it means she needs to "force-open" my cervix with her fingers. And umm, it was very uncomfortable. It doesn't hurt that much (remember my nostril?), but it was, wow. I did not expect that. I did not know that there is such a thing as dilating it in that manner. LOL! But, to look on the bright side, hey, I am 3cm dilated! Woohoo!

My gynae advised me to walk more to get the dilation at least to 5cm before we can go to the labour room, as she already booked for labour room for me at 2pm. I did not think of it as delivering my baby right away, I assumed it was just to have my epidural and I will be back in the ward while waiting for contractions. I still remember my gynae said to us earlier, "I have a booked a labour room for you at 2pm, so we can go there after your lunch and after Zuhur. You can pray jemaah with your husband and we can go after 2pm."

For those who don't know, I opted for epidural with normal birth mainly because my pain threshold is too damn low so I do not want to feel the contractions or the pushing part or the tearing and stitching part, hence, the epidural.

11am - Laxative / suppository (rectal route) was inserted. I got shot while lying on my side, it was unpleasant because I was supposed to hold it for good 10 minutes but I had to go number two right after the nurse left the room. I gave it like 30 seconds then everything was out. Thank goodness I made it to the toilet just in time before the explosion happens. Haha!

2pm - After our solat jemaah, it was 2pm sharp. Nurse came in and asked if I'm ready to go now, told her I will be out in a minute. Taking some time with my husband because apparently due to this Covid-19, another person is not allowed to be in the labour room with the patient. So, imagine going to the labour room without my husband with me. I did not bring my phone to the labour room with me because I really thought it was going to be the epidural insertion then I will be back to my husband in the ward but hell no. I had to stay in the labour room, alone, without my husband, without my phone, waiting for my baby to come out, anytime soon. Sigh. It was a difficult time but I remain calm, telling myself its going to be alright.

First, I was immediately connected to a cardiotocography (CTG) machine - placed on my stomach - to monitor fetal's heartbeat and my contractions. Then, a nurse asked me, "Do you want to start the dilation now? Or you want to wait for epidural first? Because if you want to start the dilation now, I can proceed with inserting oxytocin (pitocin) but you can feel the pain of contraction. Or you cannot handle the pain?", of course I told her I want to wait for epidural first because I do not want to feel any pain, at all.

4pm - Epidural time. An aesthetician finally came in to the labour room. (Still not contacting my husband - for 2 hours now) The procedure is to inject a local anaesthetic in to the space around spinal nerves on my lower back - I had to sit down for this - instead of lying on my side. It took around 15 minutes for her to setup and tape stuff on my back until she injects it in. She was very friendly, I loved her, very "mak-mak modern" type of lady, telling stories about her life and kids and told me that this Covid-19 sucks with the fact that my husband could not be inside the labour room with me while she's working on my back. LOL!

First injection - first anaesthesia is to numb the area before the epidural injection. Give it about 5 mins until the area is completely numb, then, the epidural!

Second injection - Epidural. It was not a great feeling. I can feel the needle going down, towards my tailbone. As she inserting it, I was crying. It was painful, I'm not gonna lie. Because the first injection is to numb the exact place to inject a hole on my back, but not to numb my whole lower back that I can feel it traveling down. Maybe its my (very) low pain threshold that I feel it very painful or maybe I cried because my husband was not there with me to hold my hands and kiss my forehead and tell me its gonna be okay and I got this. I had to replay the last time my husband did and said to me before I went inside the labour room. I think that's the reason why I was crying while the epidural is inserted, not because of pain or anything. Haha! So the needle for epidural is in, but not the epidural analgesia yet. They need to proceed with the pitocin to induce my labour, to start the contraction, to have my cervix to dilate more than 3cm.

5pm - Still no contraction. Zero. Nada. Then pitocin comes in. My gynae comes in and explains to me the pitocin and stuff. Basically, pitocin is a natural hormone that causes the uterus to contract used to induce labour, to enter into active labour and strengthen labour contractions. Once the pitocin's in (via injection on my wrist - branch it into two - one for dilute oxytocin solution drip, the other one is IV drip), the contraction will start. Right after the pitocin, its epidural time. I can feel the coldness of the solution running through the needles and into my spine. Like literally can feel it fill in the epidural space of my lower back. Love the sensation. Then, insertion of the urinary catheter to collect urine from the bladder since I cannot move or go to the toilet (due to epidural). Basically I cannot feel the bottom half of my body. I pinched my thigh, nope, cannot feel a thing. Epidural is amazing, ladies!

7pm - The CTG machine shows that I am having a strong, frequent contractions. But I don't feel a thangggg! Thanks to my new best friend; epidural, I was busy having my dinner while watching TV, happily. Nurse came in and saw the CTG and told me that it was amazing that I still can have my meal while big contraction is happening. Hahah! Then another nurse came in and gave me a phone and said "Your husband was at the entrance and asked to pass you your phone". Yay! At last, my phone's here, I can finally contact my husband! Immediately FaceTime him and that was the best moment ever, to have him "inside" the labour room with me. Update him with everything (and I cried a bit...) and doctor came in to check my dilation while I was on the phone with my husband. I was still at 3cm and we shall wait until I can push this tiny human being out of me.

11pm - I was sleeping, epidural side effects on me were sleepy and shivering. Though I am on epidural, I can feel the contractions are getting stronger. The pressure woke me up from my sleep and its making me feel like pushing something out though I don't feel the pain. I felt the urge to pass motion, so I called the nurse, she checked on my dilation, she said I am at 8cm that I can start to push at 11.30pm and she will call the doctor since I am already in active labour. Wow, am I ready to do this? Is it really, now? I'm going to have a baby soon! She is coming out soon!

11.30pm - Push time! I kept on repeating "Allahu la illa ha' illa anta subhannaka inni kuntu minna zzalimin". Nurse came in, "Okay, you can push now. Imagine like you need to pass motion, push it hard. Once you feel the contraction, take a deep breath and push it hard for as long as you could. Don't take a second breath, you'll lose the momentum to push. Once your breath is at max, relax. Breathe like normal and wait for another contraction to come to push once more. Just keep pushing whenever you feel the contraction." It was intense since I feel the contraction every 30 seconds. I took one deep breath, I pushed it long and hard for 15 seconds and rest. I breathe normally for 15 seconds to get ready for another round of pushing.

11.45pm - My doctor came into the labour room, perhaps she only comes once my dilation hits a certain number of cm or maybe when its birth crowning (the appearance of baby's head). So she took over and guided me through on what to do, when to push, how hard to push and what to recite. She helped me a lot in calming me by reciting surah, zikir and duas. I pushed it hard for half an hour and Alhamdulillah, heard her high-pitched cry and voice for the very first time. Immediately fell in love.

1 April 2020 | Wednesday

Week 40 Day 2

12.01am - Alhamdulillah, I safely delivered a healthy baby girl, weighing at 3.21kg, 50cm tall (so cute, LOL!), with a head circumference of 34cm on April 1st, 2020, Wednesday. Alhamdulillah, I am beyond grateful and I am officially a mom to a beautiful baby girl! Tabarakallah. Allah is Great.

12.15am - After the delivery, skin-to-skin contact, delivery of placenta, first breastfeeding, stitching and settling down, I finally can reach my phone to FaceTime my husband. It was heartbreaking that he cannot be there in the labour room to witness the birth of our first, precious child, but Alhamdulillah, everything was easy. Allah ease my labour journey. Still remember my husband's face when he first saw the face of our daughter (via FaceTime). It was priceless.

Nurse came in, told me that my baby needs to be cleaned and brought to the nursery and I needed to rest for a solid hour before heading back to the maternity ward. I told the nurse to bring my baby along with me since my husband hasn't met his newborn daughter yet, also for azan & qamat. The nurse cleaned me up, I was all dressed up with a fresh, new hospital gown and they brought me in once my baby is ready from the nursery.

2am - Maternity ward with my daughter, finally reunited with my husband after 12 hours. He finally met his daughter, did azan & qamat to her and I finally feel at home. Alhamdulillah. I had no energy to blast the news to the family, so my husband was the reporter. Big thanks to you, sayang! ILYSMOMG!

2 April 2020 | Thursday

Day 1

I got one whole day of resting on April 1st (since my baby was born at 12 midnight) and it is time for discharge! We managed to cleared out billings and filling out paperworks and a lot of things to do and keep for the baby's registration at JPN and everything. Got into the car at 5pm and off we go. Onto a new journey; PARENTHOOD.

Signing off as a new mother to a precious and beautiful baby girl,

Malina Azman x

Alana's Nursery Journey & Updates

We have three rooms in our home and decided to have our second (largest) bedroom to be our daughter's room. Master bedroom is ours and third room (smallest room in the house) to be our (walk-in) closet and bilik solat.

My nesting started back in my second trimester of pregnancy. Before the painting and drilling works began, we hired a contractor to do our flooring. From tiles to vinyl flooring, it makes so much different to our spaces. We updated our flooring in all of our rooms and also in the hallway. It took a month for the contractor to prepare materials to be sent and installed into our home, which it should be done within two weeks, but we were busy with other contractors as well, so we asked the flooring guys to start later. Loving the dark colour of the vinyl, it pops out with the bright/white/light grey colour of the wall also with black detailings e.g.: curtain railings, blinds, frames, etc.

Then we continued with drilling works; installing railings, racks, frames by our contractor. Then painting job. We painted light grey for the wall & the same grey shade polka dots for the feature wall. I have been wanting a grey and white nursery room for my baby and now that I am having my own child, I got the chance to do it my own. I don’t want a pink room for a girl or blue for a boy, I love “gender-neutral” colours so that I can have the room for either boys or girls. I love to do DIY mini-project myself. Funny thing, I actually used my recently-finished white pepper bottle cap to do the dots. I just stamped it all over the wall with a grey paint & I’m loving the whole look of the room. YAY!

Once the painted wall dried, we began to install the furnitures. Most of them are from Ikea & Spotlight. We installed those items within a day and onto arranging Alana's essential! Diapers, creams & lotions, booties & mittens, hats, onesies, pants & tops, wet wipes, cotton pads & buds, changing mat and waterproof mat, swaddles, burp cloths, towels. To keep all these in order, drawer inserts (SKUBB box) from Ikea are the best. It comes in two different colours, black / white, to put all tiny items in the drawer.

From doing drilling works, installing vinyl flooring, painting walls, building Ikea furnitures, it took us approximately a month plus to finish it up. At this point, we haven't bought a cot for Alana yet, and I shall update a new post soon for a baby nursery must-haves! I am currently staying at my parents', so most of Alana's stuff were sent here instead of our home. I will post up a finished look for Alana's room once items are all ready!

Before the painting work starts.

  

Installing drawers.

One drawer done, one more drawer to go.

Ikea SKUBB drawer inserts are TDF!

Lots of love,

Malina x

What's in My Hospital Bag? | Daddy Edition

Daddy needs two bags as well. One luggage for Daddy's essentials & one bag for snacks! LOL!

Inside the luggage:

1. Small pillow - Most hospitals provide extra bed (upon request) along with extra blanket and pillow but trust me, none of them offers a nice, comfy pillow. So its best if your husband can get a good night sleep with a comfy pillow from home before the arrival of your bundle of joy
2. Blanket - Again, to ensure comfiness of your husband's stay in the ward with you, just bring extra blanket
3. Hoodie - Hospital ward can get very cold during the night, so its good to wear a hoodie or cardigan for comfort
4. Shoes - Your husband might need to walk a lot to bring stuff for you and to be on his two feet for quite awhile to accompany you in the labour room, so its good to invest  one and wear a proper and comfortable shoes/sneakers
5. Slipper - For a quick trip from the pullout bed to the toilet. LOL
6. Socks - One to wear with shoes and the other pair to wear for sleeping
7. Long pants - To beat the coldness of the maternity ward
8. T-shirt - Your husband can bring 2 - 3 pair of t-shirts depending on how often he wants to bathe and to change clothes
9. Cap/hat - Because your husband has no time to wax his hair once the baby arrives, hence, ask him to wear a cap to cover his head. Haha!
10. Toiletries - Toiletries bag is provided only for the patient, so your husband needs to bring all of his personal products for the 2 or 3-night stay
11. Towel - Hospitals will only provide towel for the patients (moms), so your husband needs to bring one for himself

Inside the snacks bag:

Make sure your maternity ward has a fridge to keep all these! Also, these snacks are meant to be consumed while you are waiting for labour, not after the delivery.

1. Biscuits/crackers
2. Mineral water (Hospital will provide daily - 1.5l mineral water and a thermos for hot water, but in case if you need more, you can buy one since you are also sharing with your husband)
3. Juices
4. Smoothies in a bottle
5. Chocolates
6. Dates
7. Milk
8. Sandwiches
9. Comfort food from Family Mart (Oden?)
10. Junk food (For your husband because your meal will be provided 4 times a day, so you will be full but not your S/O. Hihi)

Something extra:

I did not bring these but oh how I wish I did!

1. Night light - If you have a night light or a small table lamp, do bring it. Unless you don't mind of a bright ceiling light on your night pee trip to the bathroom. A small table  lamp with a dim light while you are about to sleep is essential (for me)
2. Extra towel for you - You can use the hospital ones for your hair (because it is thin AF) and your good ol thick towel to wrap your body because hospital ward is damn cold and thin towel is not FTW

I hope this post really helps for all mommies-to-be out there. I was clueless as well, but after a lot of reading and doing research, I can conclude that these items are the only necessity you need. You do not need more. I was admitted for 4 days and 3 nights and these are items that we need during our stay in the hospital. Hope this helps! X

What's in My Hospital Bag? | Mommy Edition

Mommy needs two bags. Yes. One hand luggage and one tote bag. Why?

Inside the luggage:

(Everything you need only when you're in the ward/discharge)

1. Going home outfit - Please do not bring or wear a long dress that requires you strip down butt-naked for breastfeeding. If you really need to wear a dress, make sure it has a zip or button in front (chest area) for easy access to breastfeed in the car
2. Disposable panties - Because you don't want to use your pretty and expensive undies with massive maternity pads to get stained... TMI, whoops. Hence, my advice is to wear disposable panties for as long as possible, even after you got discharge from hospital. You can just throw away if it gets stained or change to a new one daily
3. Maternity/nursing bra - Again, for easy access to breastfeed in the car. You don't need to wear any while you are warded unless you are expecting visitors
4. Maternity pads - Hospital will provide maternity pads for you but you can always bring extra
5. Breast pads - You do not need this on the first three or four days after labour because breastmilk does not start to leak yet, but you can always prepare in case if your stay extends
6. Lotion - To prevent from dry skin from the ward's A/C
7. Massage oil - For that last minute massage before you go for labour
8. Nipple cream - If your nipples start to crack before you start to breastfeed (which I doubt so because it does not happen to me), but you can always bring it in case if your stay extends
9. Socks - Because the ward is damn cold, you need to wear one. I brought 4 pairs of socks with me
10. Indoor slippers - You need this to walk around inside the ward and also to walk around the maternity ward area to induce labour
11. Sleep mask / eye mask - I need this because even when you turned off the lights, nurses/cleaners/doctors will come in (or barge in) to your room and simply turn on the lights while you are still in bed
12. Bathrobe / kimono gown - Easy for breastfeeding if your hospital robe is not breastfeed-friendly
13. Toiletries - Most of hospitals will provide a toiletry kit consists of small bottles of conditioning shampoo & bath gel, toothbrush & toothpaste, face towel, lotion, cotton bud, shower cap, comb, etc. You might need to bring your own if you only want to use your own trusted products. Extra things to bring are; deodorant, facial wash, facial scrub, shaver(?) or whatever you think are needed for your daily use
14. Makeup - If you want to look good in case you are having any visitors in the ward, or you want to look good upon checkout or even during labour (why not?)
15. Extra towel - You need your own thick towel from home because hospital's towel is absolute no go. LOL

Inside the tote bag:

(Everything important that is needed upon registration/for easy access)

1. Hospital documents - Buku pink from Klinik Kesihatan Malaysia (KKM), your hospital book, appointment cards, pre-registration for warded card, IC
2. Purse - Make sure you have enough cash / balance in your bank account as deposit is needed upon registration
3. Phone
4. Phone charger
5. Laptop - Why? Because hospital has a a very bad TV program and a very good WiFi connection for you to watch Netflix while waiting for active labour. LOL!
6. Laptop charger
7. Multi-socket - Because sometimes you and your husband need to charge your gadgets and devices at the same time
8. Pillow/bantal busuk - I brought one to the hospital because it prevents me from having a panic attack about the idea of pushing a human being out of me. Haha!

Hope this helps for you, mommies-to-be out there! X

What's in My Hospital Bag? | Baby Edition

In the duffel bag:

1. Take home outfit - Because apparently my hospital did not provide any outfit for the baby. You can ask your hospital if they will provide one. Else, you have to bring your own
2. Onesies x 2 - Buy and bring two different sizes and designs (NB size & 1-3m size), in case if the baby is too small or too big for the onesies
3. Mittens x 2 - Buy and bring two different sizes and design, in case if its too small or big for the baby
4. Booties x 2 - Same goes like mittens: buy and bring two different sizes and design, in case if its too small or big for the baby
5. Hats x 2 - Buy and bring two different sizes and design, in case if its too small or big for the baby
6. NB diapers - My hospital provides whole package of NB diapers for the baby, so I did not use mine for the whole first week of my labour
7. Wet wipes - My hospital does not provide any
8. Muslin/swaddle cloth x 2 - I used one as a swaddle and the other one is to cover the baby out from the ward to the car at the main lobby. Would not want to risk it by exposing my newborn baby to public
9. Burp cloth x 2 - In case if you need to wipe stuff in the car on your way back from the hospital
10. Infant head support pillow

You don't have to sweat it out by packing unnecessary items and too many things thinking that your baby might need this and that. Your hospital most probably will provide everything that your baby needs especially if you send your baby to the nursery and let nurses take care of them. They will only send your baby to your maternity ward every 2 hours for you to breastfeed them (if you opt for that). If you tell them to go for formula milk, they will prepare the formula for your baby and will only send your baby to your room if you ask them to. So basically, *everything is provided for your baby; top, hat, blanket, swaddle cloth, diapers, wet wipes, bath time, sleep time for the entire time you are warded until your bill is out for discharge.

So your concern is only to prepare things after the discharge, on your way back home. That's all. Hope this helps!

*Depending on your hospital. You can ask them beforehand about this for clarification.

Third Trimester of Pregnancy

Finish line is almost here! No more backache, hoorays! No more itchy skin! Finally I can reach my toes to give it a scrub-a-dub and to cut my toenails myself and to be able to bow down to wear socks, to put on my shoes, to tie up shoelaces, to lean over or squat to pick up things on the floor and not grabbing things with my feet anymore, to change my sleep position in peace and cannot wait not to bear this 3.4kg belly weight anymore. LOL!

Don't get me wrong. I love being pregnant. They said, "Pregnancy is the easiest, embrace it. Trust me, once the baby is out, you are no longer you." HAHAH! I think I can imagine that, to live life as a mom, taking care of your lil kiddo is no easy task. You literally have no time for yourself, only focusing on your baby and taking care of the house while your husband is out for work.

I am enjoying my last moment of being pregnant and I am super grateful to bear this healthy baby inside me and Alhamdulillah, no complications detected so far and I am in my week 39 of pregnancy, also baby is already in its position to be delivered anytime soon now, no breech.

But due to this Covid-19 pandemic currently happening all around the world, I tend to get worried and anxious about the fact that I will be delivering my first baby in a world like this, in its worst state. I talk to my baby every day, telling on how sorry I am that my baby has to be born in times like this and I will do anything to protect my baby from those harmful, cruel, evil things out there. This pandemic, included.

If you ask how's my third trimester, I'd say, "Fine, I am enjoying it..." but in a way, deep down inside, I am panicking whether or not I can provide the best things for my baby and have to learn on how to fully protect my baby. This outbreak is absolute no joke and it is a serious matter that most of us take it very lightly.

I am already in my 9-month of pregnancy and my husband is working and he rarely comes home due to his shifts, and its kinda dangerous for me to stay at home all alone in case if my water breaks whilst my husband is at work. Not funny. So, I have been staying at my parents' for almost a month now, I have been working from home and been self-quarantine with my family here for a week plus due to the restriction of movement or movement control order (MCO) by the Malaysian government until end of this month, inshaAllah. But let's say if positive cases in Malaysia does not go down by then, I think we might have to extend the MCO, maybe? I don't know, I don't want to spread any fake news or anything, it is just my personal opinion but I think we are still not fully protected. Boo you, ignorant people out there. It's not that hard to save lives by doing nothing and stay home!

Well anyways, enough of this negative, headache-guaranteed issue, back to my third trimester. Ehem.

Alhamdulillah, I am healthy, baby is healthy and moving around A LOT! Very active baby, this one, and a heavy one too (3.4kg for week 39), stretches a lot, tiny feet hitting my ribs for several times a day, thumb-sucking kind, probably right-handed human being because sucks his/her right thumb, loves to smile every time we check his/her out via ultrasound scan. He/she shares 85% of my husband's features, LOL, and fat fingers and fists, symmetrical feet, hiccups once a day for like 5-10 minutes, very much in deep sleep after eating, moving around a lot when hungry. I am so in love with my baby, can't you tell?

What hurts during third trimester and how to overcome it?

• Backache - massage and sleep with tons of pillows with you
• Sole (tapak kaki) & calves lenguh - massage
• Hard to get a perfect sleep position - sleep with tons of pillows with you and keep changing positions
• Hard to walk due to heavy baby - wear a maternity belt and hold your belly while walking and ask someone to support you
• Sometimes you pee a little when you sneeze (LOL!) - wear a panty liner, do Kegel exercise, pee often so that your urinary bladder is not full
• Shortness of breath - try to focus on your breath, do a proper breathe in (through nose) and breathe out (through mouth)
• Muscle stiffness all over your body - do stretching especially if you have been sitting for too long, walk around every half an hour
• Yawning - I don't know about the rest of you, but I tend to yawn a lot. This is due to lack of oxygen in your brain, dehydration and tired. Tackle this by drink plenty of fluid, get enough rest. You can sleep as much as you want now because you won't get any once the baby is out. LOL!

Other than these, I also been doing a lot of research by reading articles and asking people around about more essential items for newborn baby once he/she is here, what is the best stroller, car seat, baby crib/cot, best breast pump, either auto or manual, do I need baby formula milk, lactation cookies/supplements and stuff. Pretty much haven't bought anything yet. Reason number one: current MCO happening across the world, reason number two: my baby will choose it on behalf of me, so I need to wait until the baby is out to make sure it suits him/her. Or else, I will buy it for nothing.

Hospital bag for three of us: me, husband and baby are all packed. Birth plan is ready. I opt for epidural because one, my pain threshold is very low, I can stub my toe and I will scream my lungs out loud because the pain is freakin unbearable. Two, I plan to have a lot of babies, so I don't want my first one to be like, "alright, that's it. It's painful, I don't want another baby". Three, I want to enjoy the labour process. Four, why not? Why do I want choose to feel the pain rather than opt for something that is painless. Right? I mean, at least that is my plan. Epidural, normal labour. In case of any emergency c-section, I would go for it. Anything that is necessary, of course. I just want my baby and myself to be safe and healthy.

Well yeah, that basically it.

Next post will be about "What's in my hospital bag?" for all three: the mom, the baby and the dad :) Thanks for still sticking around, guys.

X

To Pantang or Not to Pantang?

*To my international readers, this post is written specifically for my fellow Malaysian readers who can understand Bahasa Malaysia and Malay culture about postpartum confinement. This post may contain a few different languages than English :) And Pantang means Confinement in Bahasa Malaysia (in this case after childbirth care for both mother and the newborn).

Biggest question of all: To pantang or not to pantang?

Although I am a millennial, I am not saying that I am a modern human being that does not believe in culture or traditional way of doing things. I still ikut some of the Malay culture that our mak mak told us not to do when we were kids (but not all lah), for example, balik rumah sebelum Maghrib or jangan keluar masa Maghrib or jangan mandi malam, which I do mandi malam just that now dah ada water heater system in the house, so takda lah sejuk sangat nak mandi.

So bila nak bercakap tentang tradisi turun temurun, ikut kata mak mak or nenek moyang kita, one of it would be "Amalan Berpantang Selepas Bersalin". I put this in quote because that is what my doctor/gynae literally did when I ask her about this. Tinggi tangan dia naik to do the quote sign every time she said the word "pantang".

So as you know (or may not), that I am now currently in my third trimester of pregnancy and of course lah banyak benda kena fikir on packing the hospital bags - which bukan takat satu bag untuk the mother je, but ada lagi dua bags nak kena packing - one for the baby, one for the husband. My other concerns include nanti lepas bersalin nak tinggal mana, because my husband for sure will be working only a week after my labour, so tak kan nak tinggal rumah sorang sorang. Alhamdulillah I still have my parents and a sister for me untuk menumpang kasih (LOL!) while taking care of my newborn, inshaAllah. Orang kata kalau lepas beranak, tak boleh duduk rumah sorang because postpartum depression is real, guys! So tak healthy lah kita nak kena jaga anak sorang sorang, takda suami, takda family members and takda siapa for us to rely on to.

Bukan nak jadi clingy or nak depending on other people but you know what I mean. It is an overwhelming event and feeling to have little human being with you for the first time and you need someone with you to get used to it.

Because of this, we tend to need someone to help us go through the day. But if you do not have your immediate family members with you, or relatives or even your friends, this is where you need that confinement lady to help you out.

I am writing this blog bukan secara membabi buta and bukan nak go against it or kata I modern and ada orang kata nanti kalau tak pantang dengan betul, boleh sejuk badan, masuk angin or even meroyan. Well, I did a lot of research about this and even dah approached beberapa gynecologists and medical doctors and also beberapa pakej pantang yang ada di Malaysia untuk tanya more details about it and MY GOD, harga pakej pantang makcik makcik sangat cekik darah! Imagine if you beranak dekat private hospital dah cecah RM3-4k above, imagine pakej pantang ni lagi mahal than that. 14 days pakej pantang dah cecah RM4k above. Baik aku beranak kali kedua dekat the same private hospital. You get what I mean? If you ada banyak duit and takda choice untuk jaga diri and jaga baby after bersalin, then you might be tak kisah to keluar duit sebanyak tu for "berpantang". For me, with that RM4k, you can get the best stroller in town, or the best baby nest/lounger, better options for carseat and create the best nursery room for your baby. You know, spending on things more important than berurut.

Speaking of berurut, below is the list of things most pakej pantang di Malaysia buat (based on 7 different centers yang I tanya):

For mother:

• Urutan pantang/tradisional
• Relaxing massage
• Urutan jenis-jenis herba
• Tangas
• Mandi bunga
• Mandi herba
• Bengkung
• Urutan payudara
• Urutan lancar susu
• Urut peranakan/urutan rahim/sengkak
• Sengkak muka
• Sauna
• Tungku
• Tungku halia
• Hair wash therapy
• Param/pilis/tapel
• Rendaman kaki
• Pakej slimming
• Lulur
• Body mask
• Detox
• Scrub badan
• Penutup pantang
• Ikatkan rambut
• Pakaikan stokin
• Jamu

For newborn:

• Mandi
• Cuci tali pusat
• Urutan bayi
• Tungku
• Tuam bayi
• Bedung

These centers offer the package for 3 days, 7 days, 14/15 days, 44/45 days, and also 90/100 days.

Below is my Q&A session with my gynae during my antenatal checkup visit yesterday and I could not help but to ask everything about "pantang" to her and these are our conversations:

x

Q: I have few questions about pantang. Is there any scientific research and whether or not it is scientifically proven that pantang really helps on heal better after bersalin?

A: Here's the thing, define "pantang". What is "pantang", and why orang "berpantang"? In medical term, no such thing as "berpantang". Because our body memang dah ada system untuk heal sendiri. Whatever it is, bersalin ke, accident ke, patah kaki ke, anything, semua Tuhan dah buat our body system untuk heal sendiri. But kita on the other hand, kena jaga-jaga to make sure apa kita consume or buat, takda effect and tak kacau body system tu. So in this case, bersalin, Tuhan dah buat, okay, badan wanita bila bersalin, ada baby semua dekat dalam uterus, mesti ada cara juga untuk Tuhan heal kan balik dalam keadaan asal. From your uterus to jadi this big, dia mesti akan kecut sendiri. In science or medical world, memang ada study that uterus akan mengecut and jadi semula ke bentuk asal (tunjuk fist) dalam masa 45 days. If you tak buat apa-apa pun, memang akan kecut dalam masa 45 hari. Don't worry. That is why pantang orang lama kata berpantang tu biar sampai 44 hari. So if orang dulu-dulu kata berpantang tu is a process of uterus mengecut ke bentuk asal sampai tunggu 44/45 days, then it makes sense. But problem here is, what you do during that period of time. So this is when benda benda mengarut semua ada.

Q: I have done research and tengok all those business pantang buat, ada urutan, tangas and all that, takda any side effect to our body? Because we are in a process of healing, so bila usik those muscles or nerves, tak ganggu body system ke?

A: One thing, berurut memang sedap. Sangat sedap. Especially you lama baring atas katil and asyik terjaga every two hours nak jaga baby, so bila dapat urut tu, rasa relaxed. Tenang. Memang sedap. For example, if you tak pregnant now, you pergi spa and asks for massage and facial, sauna semua tu, memang sedap kan? Jadi tenang. So itu sebenarnya. Berurut just rasa nak sedap badan and nothing to do with masuk angin ke apa. No such thing as masuk angin dalam badan. Takda. Angin atau udara masuk bila kita inhale oxygen melalui our nostrils or mulut, Itu je. Mana ada masuk angin dalam badan. Kalau buang angin through kentut or sendawa, itu your digestive system. Bukan masuk ikut kaki because tak pakai socks and sejuk badan semua tu. Semua itu nonsense. If you want to berurut, silakan. If tak nak, takpa. But have you heard of "Sekak" or "Sengkak" or urutan rahim? That one, sangat sakit. Memang sakit. If you tak selesa with sakit, tell that person tak nak do the sekak thing. But no scientific proven kata sekak boleh turunkan your rahim. If you tak buat tu pun, rahim akan turun sendiri without berurut. So tell that person, no need.

Q: What about pakai bengkung?

A: Bila pakai bengkung, memang sedap. Because perut rasa selesa, rasa everything is tight and perut tak rasa bergerak or "menggelebeh". Bila you dah beranak, your perut jadi macam deflated float, excess fats and skin ada dekat situ. So pakai bengkung tu sama macam berurut, hanya untuk sedap dan selesa. Bengkung tak kan membantu untuk you get your old abs or tummy if you tak workout or do any exercise. So pakailah bengkung lama mana pun, if tak workout, your perut/abs tak kan balik ke rupa asal.

Q: So does that mean we can workout lepas bersalin?

A: Give it a time. Sama macam kalau you sprained your ankle, ada muscle tear, you berehat dulu bagi heal. Maybe a week or two after that, you can start workout dah. You pun ada tengok those mat salleh mana ada pantang-pantang macam kita, their appearance and body lagi elok rupa and also they are much healthier than us. Selain pengambilan makanan sihat, they go and workout. Bukan duduk rumah tak buat apa, terbaring and berurut sampai 44 days.

Q: I ada tengok beberapa packages offer to tungku for newborn. Is that okay?

A: Tungku for the mother I have heard, but the baby, no! Not advisable. Bertungku tu basically sama macam you pergi spa, minta urut with batu panas. That is all. Tak mendatangkan anything except for relaxation. But for baby, no, I would go against that. I don't think its safe because if you kena bertungku, you can tell the lady that the batu is panas for you to handle, but if baby, how can they tell you? So, tungku for baby, total no no. Tak mendatangkan kebaikan and also will harm the baby.

Q: What about pengambilan jamu?

A: First, you cannot consume jamu or any herba for the first few weeks or first month if you breastfeed. Because it will go to your breastmilk that somehow will affect the baby. Kita tak tahu what's inside the jamu, the ingredients and all, takut effect the baby yang baru nak get use to their diet, yang kita tak tahu apa yang dia allergic to. Second of all, jamu sekarang dah commercialized. I doubt they use authentic or natural ingredients to make it. Orang dulu dulu punya jamu, dia sendiri pergi petik all those daun and herba and tumbuk and jadikan air. So kita tahu where does it comes from, but now punya jamu yang macam dalam tin or in powder form, we do not know the source of the ingredients. So, not advisable. One thing, jamu tak sedap. Pahit. Yang penting, eat healthy food, ada cukup fibre, protein, carbs, vitamins, fruits and veggies, tak perlu ambil jamu semua tu. So, jamu is not helping you with anything if you dah ikut pemakanan seimbang.

Q: What about pantang food? Ada kata tak boleh sambal, tak boleh daging, tak boleh minum air sejuk.

A: Itu semua mengarut. Makan lah apa awak nak makan. No such thing makanan tajam lah, makanan sejuk, tak boleh makan ayam lah, tak boleh makan ikan kering. Makan je. Tak jadi masalah. You have to consume healthy, balanced diet. So each meal you take, kena ada protein, carbs, vitamins, high-fiber food, fruits and veggies. No such thing tak boleh makan itu ini. You tengah nak heal, so you kena ambil all dalam food pyramid. And hydrate yourself by drinking plenty of water. Orang dulu dulu kata minum dua gelas air je sehari, mana cukup. You nak heal properly, so kena minum banyak air. Also ada juga kata tak boleh duduk dalam aircond, nanti sejuk. You buka je aircond. Tak kan nak berpanas sampai berpeluh. Buka je aircond, kalau sejuk, pakai selimut or jacket ke.

Q: Pantang orang tua kata tak boleh minum air banyak sedangkan we need to drink a lot to heal and to breastfeed.

A: This is another one yang nonsense. It makes no sense at all, You nak heal, you nak breastfeed, you dehydrate, and yet you tak boleh minum air banyak. Nonsense. You need to hydrate yourself. Kalau dia bagi air sikit, you curi-curi minum je. You need more water now that you are in the process of healing.

Q: What about param/pilis/tapel?

A: Tak membantu dalam process nak heal.

Q: Ikatkan rambut bagi tegang?

A: Angin tak masuk ikut kepala. Itu yang silap, angin tak masuk ikut mana mana kecuali bila you bernafas. You inhale ikut hidung and mulut, itu lah angin nya. So sampai nak sikat rambut, ikat ketat-ketat, that is all for nothing. Rasa sedap je lah orang main rambut kita.

Q: Why ada mandi bunga and mandi herba and all?

A: If you nak rasa layanan seperti seorang puteri, silakan. Because bila lagi orang nak datang rumah, mandikan you, petik bunga satu-satu letak dalam bathtub or baldi, siramkan atas kepala, you duduk je situ diam-diam. Bila lagi. Tak kan nak panggil masa you bukan bersalin, dah buang tebiat ke apa pula kan. Orang dulu dulu mana ada sabun, shower gel, bath gel with scent, floral scent semua tu. Orang dulu takda sabun, so kena lah mandi bunga. Bila lepas bersalin, kita ada darah nifas. Darah nifas tu lagi teruk bau than darah haid. Bau lagi hanyir. So tu yang orang dulu kena mandi bunga. Tak mandi biasa. Tapi kalau zaman sekarang dah ada macam-macam jenis shower gel bau lagi wangi than the bunga itself, so mandi lah pakai sabun. Lagi bersih, lagi wangi.

Q: Berpantang tak boleh keluar rumah. Kena stay at home for the whole period of pantang. So if 44 days pantang, tak boleh keluar langsung for 44 days?

A: Mengarut. Itu diorang panggil tak boleh jejak tanah. Orang dulu dulu agaknya takda kasut, takda selipar. So family members dia tak bagi keluar rumah because kaki kotor pijak tanah. Boleh kena penyakit kalau tak pakai kasut bila keluar. Zaman sekarang dah ada kasut, kita pun travel naik kereta. Bukan jalan kaki dekat tepi jalan penuh tanah. So nak keluar, keluar lah. If you larat and also if you think that will make you happy, then keluar. No problem. If duduk rumah tak jumpa orang, tak tengok dunia luar sampai 44 days, boleh depressed. So to make you happy, tak depressed, go ahead. Boleh keluar rumah.

Q: What is "meroyan"? Orang dulu kata kalau tak buat proper pantang, boleh meroyan.

A: Saya pun tak tahu apa term meroyan tu. Kalau nak kata depression, yes, postpartum depression is real. But tengok balik apa source, apa sebab jadi meroyan. Kalau tak bagi keluar rumah, tak bagi makan daging, tak cukup minum air, duduk dalam keadaan panas takda aircond, of course boleh jadi rimas and depressed. Kena ada orang with you, for you to get the groove on the newborn. Kena ada strong support system from family and friends.

Q: To conclude, perlu tak berpantang secara tradisional?

A: Up to you. For me, its all back to one thing; your relationship with your family members/relatives. Kalau dah mak mak and your aunts and grandmas semua suruh you pantang juga, ikut kan je lah. Because tak nak gaduh, tak nak naik suara. Jaga hubungan sesama keluarga lebih penting. But if let's say, sesuatu activity tu boleh memudaratkan you, then you politely say no. Contohnya, minum jamu. You tak percaya the source and apa sebenarnya dalam jamu tu, then you can bawa that jamu and flush down the toilet. Buat belakang-belakang, jangan bagi orang lain terasa. Also kalau orang tak bagi you minum air, you pergi minum senyap-senyap. Duduk dalam bilik ada aircond senyap-senyap. Takpa. Daripada kita pun stress nak gaduh and keep on saying no boleh sampai depressed, kan susah tu. Also, if dia nak urut rahim atau sengkak, yang tu you boleh say no to tukang urut because boleh membahayakan your body system. Rahim tak perlu diurut. Dia akan turun sendiri. Yang penting, consume healthy diet, keep yourself hydrated, lead a healthy lifestyle, workout, go out or do whatever makes you happy so that you tak depressed - or maybe tak "meroyan" if we want to use that term, then we're okay. Kalau your family members boleh terima your opinion about this and decided not to do the traditional pantang, then don't do it. Bazir duit je nak bayar package semua tu. Because tak perlu pun, your body is amazing, Allah dah buat for your body to heal itself.

x

There you go. What a long conversation between my gynae and I. Hopefully, this post dapat bagi benefit untuk sesiapa yang clueless like me. LOL. My dad, my husband and I memang against this amalan berpantang because I did not see any benefits or sebab yang munasabah untuk I buat and also untuk keluar duit sebanyak tu. Bukan kedekut, but I belajar untuk pandai berbelanja and pandai menilai sesuatu benda sebelum I proceed to do it. If takda mendatangkan kebaikan and lagi banyak memudaratkan diri sendiri and orang sekeliling, then I won't do it. I will not do something just because it is adat turun temurun since 1900 or I won't just do membabi buta just because orang lain asks me to do it.

Plus, for me, it's always Science > Culture. I believe in science... LOL!

Ada I tengok pakej pantang sampai ada kemaskan rumah, do laundry, masakkan makanan pantang, mandikan baby. Well, for me, dekat situ, husband kena mainkan peranan sebagai seorang suami. This whole pregnancy thing, bukan the mother je yang kena hadap, the father pun ada roles dia. If the mother yang beranakkan, yang hadap sakit, yang kena breastfeed, so tugas seorang suami and seorang bapa kena lah buat kerja rumah sikit. Takat laundry, masuk baju dalam washing machine je. Bukan kena sental beriya guna baldi. And kemaskan rumah? Allahu, vacuum pun once a week je. Do dishes, every time habis makan kena basuh pinggan, so memang tak kan ada pinggan berlonggok dalam sink. Nak masak? This is the tricky part, maybe some husbands ada yang tak reti masak. If you duduk rumah parents after labour, if parents larat nak masak, then boleh minta tolongkan masak. Or suami boleh tengok resepi online. If memang takda orang juga nak masak for the mother, then you can opt for that, or ambil maid ke. For me, I won't simply trust anybody to cook for me, lagi lagi kalau dia masuk my kitchen and use my stuff like its their own. I don't know, that is my opinion lah. And mandikan baby? Maybe the first few days tu, you might need someone with more experience to show you until you get the hang of it, but after that, si suami boleh lah tolong. Si ibu pula, kena lah belajar buat sendiri. Sampai bila nak minta orang lain mandikan anak kita sendiri. Kan? Second of all, I do not trust some strangers to datang rumah and ke hulu ke hilir dalam rumah like their own house. I mean, maybe this comes from experience that we never had a maid before since I was a little kid, so, its only the four of us at home and to have somebody from God-knows-where inside our home, I don't feel safe or at ease. I don't know their background, their lifestyle, where they have been, their penyakit (if there's any), their habits, ada any weird perangai ke, you know, stuff like that.

Alhamdulillah, I have the most supportive husband and parents and sister and in-laws to help me get through this. Syukur dapat suami yang tak malas buat kerja rumah and sendiri yang meng-offerkan diri to do things without me asking him. Bless you, sayang. Also syukur ada Mommy, Daddy and Sissy for agreeing and wanting to take care of me and my newborn soon and allow us to stay at their place for as long as we want sampai we get the groove on living with the new addition to the family.

InshaAllah.

Semoga Allah permudahkan segala urusan kita, dunia dan akhirat. Ameen.

Love, MA