I have read several articles on the internet regarding the happiness that everybody in this world is looking for. Most of people, especially the one who thinks that happiness are the things that they have or want to have, in terms of materialism, are genuinely the one that is the most unhappy ones.
Personally, I think I have grown big enough to realize that materialisms are not the "definition" of happiness because happiness is intangible. You cannot touch it physically or view it as a tangible item. It is more than that. It is beyond that. It is actually your mind, thoughts & ideas about things around you; on how you view or see things. Do you see it as what it is or do you define it based on what you know or what have you been through that can tell a story behind the thing that you view.
I think I just make it worst by saying it in difficult term or sentences but here are some tips on personal experiences that have helped me to find happiness and contentment that I would like to share with you readers. These are not some tips for a happier life, but it is just some guides for you to have ideas on what happiness is all about. You may not have realized that happiness has been hugging you tightly all these while but hopefully after reading this, it will somehow be an epiphany for you. Who knows. I am praying for that.
REDUCE SOME OF YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES
Sometimes, as we grow older, we tend to take on too many things and trying so hard to juggle jobs and responsibilities all at once and inconspicuously feel obligated to do them all rather than doing it for the sake of your happiness. This can cause us to feel overwhelmed and not get anything done at all. Unless we are used to dealing with a lot of responsibilities, then it is best that we start with what we can handle first. Hence, know how to prioritize things. Identify all the things you feel responsible for and which of those things you could eliminate right away. The less you have to do, the more you will actually get things done.
I was a final year student last two years and I was struggling with my final year projects and was trying to cope taking many courses and family and I was managing projects at home, so it was a bit tough for me to juggle all that. What I did was I dropped a few subjects taken in that trimester and I got helped from my friends to accompany me for appointments with contractors for my house project so that I won't be overwhelmed by having to deal with it alone. At the end of the day, it is not about the result but how well you have mastered on what you learn and what you get if you can focus on things that matter the most at the time.
TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED TO DO THE THINGS THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY & CREATE A ROUTINE THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
Unless you are a robot and you have discipline yourself to be like one, then you should spend some time to enjoy and seize each day. Set a time slot each day either at the beginning or the end of the day to do something that brings you fulfilment or contentment. Try to finish of your top five daily to-do-list and make time for the things that you want to do after you finished doing those. Like, go to the cinema after stressing out planning the proposal at work, or have an ice cream, or maybe take a walk at the park. Little thing that you have been wanted to do. Go and spend time to do it. We only have 24 hours a day, so go do it. Those littlest things that matter.
The key for being happier is consistently improving the level of your happiness you experience over time. Hence, you need a morning and night routine. The morning routine preps you for the day. It could be something as small as thinking of three things you are grateful for to talking to your loved ones. The night routine, you could read your favourite book, spend time with your friends and family, or you could watch your favourite TV series or movie so that you will feel motivated to wake up for the next day. Routines are an essential part of developing happiness over a period of time. As time goes on, you may find new activities to integrate into these routines but as long as you have a routine that brings you some level of happiness or satisfaction to your life, you will be more mindful of the things you could do when the negativities are eating you or something.
Before I go to bed, I will make sure that my daily organizer is filled with to-do-list on what I will be doing the next day. For example, 9am, chores - vacuum and mop the floor in the living room. 12 noon, lunch. 4pm, wash the cars. And ticked off or strikethrough the to-do-list after I have done it is basically the highlight of my day! Major love it if I have completed the things that I need to do on that day. I also will make sure that I will have free time to do the things I love or I usually put it as "quality time" in the organizer. Normally, I will watch TV during lunch if I am at home, or maybe some workout time early in the morning or evening, read a novel before bed, watch a rom-com or my fav TV series on Netflix and of course, planning on what to do the next day. Make your day counts.
CHANGE YOUR ENVIRONMENT & SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE
Sometimes we cannot help it but to be stuck in a certain specific way and place with specific people. Make it a goal to change your environment when possible. For example, if you find it hard to focus or be happy when you are home, you could potentially find a cafe or library or maybe friend's place where you could get your work done at. Away from these distractions or negativity. The key is identifying how your environment is shaping your happiness and doing what you can to change it. You have the power to change it. Move, travel, make it a goal to have your own place if necessary and work hard to get the finances to make that happen.
Just like your environment, you want to be mindful of the influences the type of people you surround yourself with. Are they inspiring you and making you want to be a better person, or are the negative vibes with complains and whines dragging you down as well? To be honest, I had friends who dragged me down to the black hole of bad vibes. Sometimes I got influenced too, depends on the level of madness or "bad" stuff happening around me at that time. But as time goes by, as I grew older, I managed to differentiate between the good and the bad, the do's and the don'ts, what's right and what's wrong. I finally have the guts to say "no", I learned that it is okay not to say "yes" to everything.
Honestly, I have bad relationships with some friends and I learned that it is total normal for us to grow apart from each other. Not everybody can make it to our future. Not everybody understands what you are going through and you do not need everybody or anybody to understand that. So if somebody tries to bring you down, you kick them off the curb and just walk away. Not literally, but you know what I mean. I tend to avoid dramas and gossips. So whenever someone starts to talk bad or spreading negative vibes around me, I will choose to stay away from that person. It is just not healthy for my mind, body and soul. I go out more often, attend events here and there to meet new people and find the right vibe for myself. If that group makes me want to be better version of myself and want to hustle to improve in terms of myself and my life, then I know that I belong to the right group. Positive ones.
FIND SOMEONE TO LOVE (OR SPREAD THE LOVE IN YOU)
Well I read in an article, telling people to find someone to love to be happy, I could not agree more. I am a Cancerian, and if you ask me about love and love a person, well, I am an expert (except for the fact that I love someone too much and I can get a little too emotional at times but that is just how Cancerians are). Certainly it is important to love yourself, but even more important when you can find someone to love. When you can appreciate others more than you can appreciate yourself, theres is a different level of happiness you experience.
Let people know that they are loved by you. Show that you care and show some appreciations of their existence in your life. Small gestures like, "How are you? It has been awhile!" text to my friends and "I love you, goodnight x" text to my family before bed and maybe some straight forward text like "I am so lucky to have you in my life. Thank you for being there for me" text to anybody that you would like them to know about. If you want to go bigger than just a text, maybe you could give them a call, ask them out, take them out for lunch or dinner or for a road trip if you could.
BE GRATEFUL WITH WHO YOU ARE & WHAT YOU HAVE
I am what I am but I can always improve to be a better version of myself. I have what I have at the moment but I can always aim and achieve more to have more things in life. To be grateful with who you are or what you have is not promoting you to be complacent at what or where you are in life. You still have to struggle and keep moving to go forward. But being grateful here is that, take time to appreciate with who you are and what you have right now. Just sit, maybe at the corner of your room, just breathe in and breathe out and think of how far you have made to be where you are right now. Appreciate and make peace with the past and learn from your past mistakes and do your best to improve to gain more experiences in life. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but, trust me honey, you are almost there. Nothing can stop you from growing and learning and just to be happy.
Pray to God. Just pray. Give thanks to God. He is the reason I am here today, writing this blog about happiness. Put your faith in Him. If you still cannot find the happiness you have been yearning of all these while, ask from Him and who knows, maybe He will lead you the way and before you know, He will show you that the happiness is within you all these while and all you have to do is just ask from Him. He is your Creator.
Malina A, x
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