11 Pregnancy Essentials

Now that you knew you are pretty much pregnant and aware your body is changing (& growing), what's next?

I totally understand on how you feel. Overwhelming. Do not know where to start. Where is the beginning? Where does this ends? Should I start buying now? Should I wait? Or should I just lead my life as usual? What things should I get for me?

Well, I am here to help you new preggos out there. Bear in mind, I am no different than you and this is only my first pregnancy and I get it that you do not want to ask people around about this whole pregnancy thing because you are afraid you might seem annoying and people might not get where you are coming from.

I get that.

But, "malu bertanya, sesat jalan", am I right?

I did ask people around especially moms, new moms, women who are in their first or second and even fifth pregnancy. I did (& still do) some research as well, and by some, I mean A LOT. I read articles from reliable sources, downloaded baby apps on iPhone, and let me tell you one important thing: NEVER READ FORUMS. Why? Because different people experiencing different things. So when you want to know something, its best if you just Google it and click on tabs from reliable sources (will list down some of trusted sites and apps I've visited), not the discussions between people in forums.

I know I did the same by asking people around but that is just to get an insight and some ideas on what is it really about rather than trusting it and taking it point by point on what you want to know. You need to make your own judgment based on what you have read from doctors, reliable sources on the internet or your gynae, conversations between you and your friends/family members and maybe some of the discussion in the chatroom. 

If you are having troubles to make your own judgment, that's where I am here to guide you on what I feel right and even my gynae and nurses approve!

Here are some of the essentials that I think most preggos can get to make your pregnancy journey fun, easy and graceful!

1) Vitamins/supplements

• Iberet Folic 500
• Contains: Iron, vitamin C, B Complex, Folic Acid
• Consume: Once a day. I take it every night after my dinner
• Where to get it: Common pharmacy e.g. Guardian, Watson's
• Why this: The reason I bought from the shelf instead of taking Obimin from Klinik Kesihatan because of the side effect I got from Obimin - Nausea (everytime!) & diarrhoea. Told my nurse and she asked me to get other supplement but I refused. LOL! Went to my private gynae, she approves my intake of Iberet Folic 500 *thumbs up*

• Blackmores Calcium + D3
• Contains: 600mg Calcium, vitamin D3500 IU
• Consume: Once a day. I take it every night after my dinner
• Where to get it: Common pharmacy e.g. Guardian, Watson's
• Why this: Because calcium is needed for pregnant women to ensure you and the baby get enough calcium for teeth and bones' growth

• Scott's Fish Oil 1000mg capsule
• Contains: Omega 3 (DHA + EPA)
• Consume: Once a day. I take it every night after my dinner
• Where to get it: Common pharmacy e.g. Guardian, Watson's
• Why this: Though this is not "compulsory" for pregnant women, you can choose not to take this but I believe in healthy brain growth for both mom and baby. There are a lot of benefits of fish oil if you take it daily even if you are not pregnant! My gynae says its good to take this for best growth and development of the baby. IMPORTANT NOTE: Please make sure you consume fish oil, NOT cod liver oil! It is not safe for pregnant women to take cod liver oil, so please read the box carefully!

2) Pregnancy belt / maternity belt / pregnancy belly band

• Oppo Maternity Belt
• When to wear it: Every time when you go out and do a lot of walking, during exercising (walking on treadmill), or doing chores around the house that requires a lot of standing. You don't have to wear it while sitting or lying down
• Where to get it: Common pharmacy e.g. Guardian, Watson's or hospital
• Why this: Though this is not "compulsory" for pregnant women, but I have lower back problem and the weight of my belly somehow affects my back and it is good to have a support so that you can improve on your posture. Also, you can tackle your daily activities comfortably!

3) >1.5l Big bottle / tumbler with lemon water

• >1.5l water bottle / tumbler
• Fill in your huge-ass bottle with water and slices of lemon and bring it everywhere!
• Why this: Lemon water promotes good hydration for our body especially when you are pregnant, you need more water to keep yourself hydrated, not to mention a good source of vitamin C, improves skin quality (that is where you get the glow!), it aids digestion, it freshens your breath (you do not need your mint anymore) and also helps prevent kidney stones. As well as, it tastes better than the normal water. LOL

4) Hot/cold pack

• Hot/cold Pack
• If you want it to be hot, put the pack in a microwave, if you want the cold one, you can use the same pack to put in the freezer
• Where to get it: I got it from my physiotherapist at the hospital but this can be found in any pharmacies or you can buy from your hospital. You can go online shopping too!
• Why this: This is recommended by my physiotherapist during my physio session due to my back problem but this can be used for pregnant women as well because you might get back problem too later in your third trimester. So this thing actually can make your life more comfortable! I use the cold pack during the day and hot one at night before I go to sleep.

5)  Coccyx pillow

• Coccyx pillow
• When to use it: I bought two, one for driving or seating in the car (passenger seat) and one for office use.
• Where to get it: Common pharmacy or hospital
• Why this: Though this is not "compulsory" for pregnant women, but if you are working 9-5 in an office, a desk job, or while you are traveling (roadtrip or by plane), you need this because you are sitting for too long and by using this it might help ease on the pressure on your tailbone and also to fix your posture. Remember, sitting is the new cancer!

6) Gym ball / yoga ball / exercise ball

• When to use it: When you are watching TV at home, lounging around
• Where to get it: Common pharmacy or any sports store
• Why this: Though this is not "compulsory" for pregnant women, but this is again, to correct your posture. If you are tired by sitting on it, you can use it as a pouffe or stool to put your legs up while you are sitting on a sofa or working at work. This is to ensure a good blood flow and making sure blood does not pool in your feet that can cause swollen feet.

7) Tights / leggings / maternity pants

• Good high-waisted, elastic, stretchy, breathable cotton pants are good for your growing belly
• When to wear it: Anytime, anywhere, 24/7. LOL!
• Where to get it: Any maternity store or sports attire store, Uniqlo, Cotton On Body
• Why this: Because it gives you comfort and extra support to hold your belly up without any restrictions to move around!

8) Pregnancy pillow

• There are three types of pregnancy pillow: U-shaped, C-shaped & three different pillows with you (for your head, your back & between your legs). As your belly grows bigger, you might need to sleep on your side. This is to ensure that your blood circulation flows nicely.
• When to use it: When you are lying down and sleeping, of course
• Where to get it: I bought the C-shaped pregnancy pillow from Parkson
• Why this: Experts recommend pregnant women should avoid sleeping on their backs during second and third trimesters because the entire weight of the growing fetus on your back, intestines and vena cava (the main vein that carries blood back to the heart from your lower body. The pressure can lead to backaches and hemorrhoids which can make you dizzy.

9) Bio-Oil / stretch mark lotion / lotion

• Bio-Oil Essence
• When to use it: Every morning after shower, every night after shower
• Where to get it: Common pharmacies e.g. Watson's, Guardian
• Why this: Apply this twice a day, every day to have less to no stretch marks around your waist, lower belly, breasts, thighs, knees, back of your armpits 

• St. Ives Oatmeal & Shea Butter Body Lotion
• When to use it: Every morning after shower, every night after shower or whenever you feel like your skin is extra dry that day
• Where to get it: On the shelf in any common supermarkets
• Why this: Apply this twice a day, every day to have moisturized , glowing skin. This is not to avoid stretch marks though I think it helps in some way because all your stretched-out skin is not cracked and gets enough moisture. I apply this especially on my knees, elbows, across my arms and calves, thighs, my back and pretty much everywhere on my body to get a full coverage of moisture

10) MASSAGE, OMG YES PLEASE!

• You can ask for prenatal massage (but never asked for the masseuse to massage your belly! It's dangerous!)
• When to have it: When you feel sore especially your feet and back.
• Where to get it: There are a lot of massage places to go for, but I do not trust people to massage me while I am pregnant, so I consulted with my physiotherapist on the correct way to massage due to my back problem (again *roll eyes*) and to make sure it is safe for pregnant. So she taught my husband on how to massage me... so my masseuse is my husband. LOL
• Why this: Because trust me, YOU NEED IT. Your body will feel a lot better! YES!

11) Download pregnancy/baby apps on your phone

• What app: BabyCentre & Pregnancy+
• When to install it: Right after you know you are pregnant
• Where to get it: Free to be downloaded on iOS and Android
• Why this: To keep track of your pregnancy journey and your baby's development week by week. It is a trusted site from reliable sources with day-to-day information, diet, pregnancy tips, baby names, keep track of your fetus' size in your womb according to which weeks you are right now, and everything. You name it, all questions you have about pregnancy and parenting and baby care and your roles (literally from a-z) are available in the app.

Happy pregnant, new Mommies! x

Meet Malina's 9 Stages of Pregnancy

1st Trimester: FEAR

Month 1: Woot

What was my thought: Confused. Am I happy? Is this really happening? Am I really pregnant? Why on Earth they created that pregnancy test kit? Okay, maybe I'm happy but honestly, I am freaking out!

Month 2: Boo No Wine

What was my thought: Boo, no Pepsi! Boo, no more caffeine! Boo, no more sushi and sashimi and anything raw!

Month 3: Barf City / People think I'm fat

What was my thought: I vomited every morning, evening and night but only lasted for two weeks, thank God. I gained some weight, and belly is shown but not too much. I think people were confused, "Is she really pregnant or she's just full?"

2nd Trimester: ACCEPTANCE

Month 4: Welcome, muffin top!

What was my thought: Everyday questioning my husband and everyone around me, "Do I look like I'm pregnant? Or people just think that I'm skinny but with fats?"

Month 5: I got this

What was my thought: Me trying to tie up my shoe laces, and try to wear socks and apply lotions from knees and below and try to clip my toenails, "I got this!", but my husband went like, "Let me help you, baby."

Month 6: I need a new kitchen now!

What was my thought: Literally, "Baby, we need a new kitchen now!" So we did. Currently our house is a mess, we are doing the entire kitchen, floorings, plaster ceilings and mini project for each room in our tiny house. Mostly, kitchen and baby's room!

3rd Trimester: FEAR & FOOD STAINS

Month 7: Obnoxious comments from strangers

What was my thought: Umm, hell yes. Every comment I received about this person knows best about being a mom and pregnancy and baby's stuff are just literally, annoying. I will ask you when I want to seek for your opinion. If not, then don't.

Month 8: Violet Beauregarde

What was my thought: Yes, soon. I may have gained a few kilos but it doesn't seem to show on the outside, though. But maybe, Violet + Augutus Gloop.

Month 9: I will cut you

What was my thought: I am annoyed with everything right now and maybe I will be more annoyed with every single thing soon. I am so particular and picky with every thing. Especially, my new kitchen. I hope it will turn out good because we spent a lot of money for it.

Second Trimester of Pregnancy

Welcoming and also ending my second trimester with... lower back ache! Yay!

No, its definitely not a "yay" thing to celebrate but I managed to go through my second trimester with flying colours! If there is such a thing with rating it like that.

Alhamdulillah, my second trimester went smoothly. No more vomiting after my fourth month, I gained back my energy, I finally can do my chores but I was hospitalized during my week 17 due to my backbone that caused by my previous injury happened in 2009.

Hospitalized for a week, went for couple of hydro physiotherapy, did some swimming and cat poses, my best friends became from human beings to medicine; Perskindol, AcuStop & ice packs.

Then it got worse. I cannot walk, I could not get up from the bed, basically need my husband 24/7 to lift and carry me everywhere, getting inside the car was bad, getting out of it was worse, I need my coccyx pillow all the time (currently I have two coccyx pillows; one in the car, another one at work). I need my pregnancy pillow every time I lie down on my side to support this heavy baby.

Asked my husband for a babymoon on November 11 to spend time and celebrate our 2nd year anniversary. Nothing fancy or far from the city, just someplace special for us to focus on our relationship and being truly present while the baby is still inside me. LOL!

Going for monthly checkups are the best thing because I can meet our baby - though just from the screen, yes. But seeing my baby breathing and moving and smiling and playing with the cord are so overwhelming. Never failed to make me think, "Allahuakbar, there is a tiny human being inside me. We made a tiny human, husband. And its inside me right now."

Blessed. Alhamdulillah.

Though this backache problem will not go away anytime soon but I know it will be all worth it. To have this baby is no doubt a blessing. We are truly blessed, my husband and I.

Thank you for the well wishes and duas from friends and family. InshaAllah, may Allah ease my pregnancy journey and this prenatal jaunt to practice ourselves to become parents :)

Love, MA

x

First Trimester of Pregnancy

My first trimester was amazing.

No morning sickness.

No headache.

No weird cravings whatsoever.

I still can focus on my work and still driving and sleeping comfortably on my back and switching positions with zero problem.

One thing for sure, I WAS TIRED AND SLEEPY that I just want to rest my head on my fluffy pillows 24/7.

Other than that, pregnancy was amazing! First trimester was good.

Except for the last one week before I entered second trimester.

Vomiting? Every morning, evening and night, yes.

Headache? One spoonful of it every evening, please.

Cravings? Not so much.

Allergic to certain smell or food? Nope. Nothing. Still surviving with any food.

Tired and sleepy? Lesser and lesser each day.

I was on week 17, my lower back pain started to occur. Was hospitalized and went through for physiotherapy for two weeks. I fell on my back, back in 2011, and somehow I fractured my coccyx (aka tail bone). The pain came back and said hello now, after 8 years, is because my pregnancy.

Well, throughout pregnancy, hormones affect a woman's muscles and joints. The hormones relaxin and progesterone relax muscles and loosen ligaments and joints, especially in the pelvic area. The extra weight and body changes in pregnancy along with these loosened joints and ligaments can cause discomfort and even lead to injury. As your uterus grows and becomes heavier, your center of gravity changes. This can lead to problems with balance and the potential for falls. The weight of your baby and weakening of belly muscles pulls your lower spine forward, adding strain to back muscles. Many women respond by leaning back in an awkward posture. This increases back strain and pain. (Link)

It is not normal to have this back pain early in your pregnancy, it should occur later in second trimester but it is a different case for me because of my previous injury. The pain comes early because the relaxin hormones is released that my muscles could not endure the pain that has been there for years.

Hence, intensive physio sessions.

I still need to apply AcuStop and Perskindol on my back until today and also to wear the pregnancy belt (yes, now as in first trimester). I have to apply hot pack and ice pack every day, twice a day to help ease on the pain.

My husband has been nothing but totally supportive and lovely as ever to help me get through this journey. I had to take sick leaves for bed rest and doctor keeps on giving me MC and ask me to rest.

My colleagues are very supportive and they help me get through my days by tackling some of my workload, which I truly appreciate. Thanks, guys.

At this point in life, despite this painful lower back, I am doing my best focusing on eating healthily for the baby, making sure that I did not miss the multivitamins that I have to take every night, think positively, listening to more Quran verses and also piano classical songs, read more and catching up on news, taking care of myself, try not to stress out so much especially with crazy traffics in KL.

I am doing my best to tackle everything at once. I need to practice this now as there is a new responsibility coming my way. A mother :)


Love, MA
x

I AM PREGNANT!

Being pregnant and knowing that you are pregnant are absolute no joke.

We certainly did not plan or expect this to happen but God knows best and He knows more than you do that you are ready for this next chapter in life.

Being born.

Growing up as a kid.

School.

Universities.

Graduated.

Job interviews.

Getting a new job.

Excited for having a long term relationship with someone who is finally serious with you and you also want him too.

Get engaged.

Being married.

Switching jobs.

And now, being PREGNANT.

God has a beautiful way to guide you through it all and here I am. With the weight of 59kg (previously I was 52kg before I got pregnant) and fluffier cheeks and fingers and toes, huge appetite, wanting to sleep all the time, back ache, vomiting and to have a husband who is extraordinarily nice even sometimes I got superbly moody (sometimes?), God is great.

Never in my life that I could be relaxing, lounging in my bedroom, on this king-sized bed, with Mozart/piano classical songs on Spotify running through my ears and perhaps my growing baby in this belly can hear it too, while blogging this, typing these words... that I am pregnant. With a smile on my face. Happy, motherly smile I would say.

How did I get the news? How did I find out that I am pregnant? Here I go...

I have been having this sore breasts for like a month now and I told my husband about it that he wanted to bring me to see a doctor for a checkup but I said no, every single time. Because I was in denial. I thought it was breast cancer or something. It hurts so bad that it grows and I can feel that it is tight and hard. But never in my mind I would think that it is one of the symptoms of pregnancy. I do not have a regular menstrual cycle so not having my period during that month was just a normal day for me.

A month goes by.

I was at work, it was almost lunch time. I called my husband and told him that I think I should go for a checkup because it hurts like hell. He picked me up from work, I asked for a time off and went to the clinic I usually go to. Told my doctor about it and she said, "I think we should go for a urine test." Still, I haven't had a single clue that I was pregnant. I thought it was something else.

Peed in a small jar. Passed it to the nurse.

5 minutes later. Doctor calls my name. Both husband and I entered the consultation room.

"You see these two lines???"

I looked at my husband, staring at him with my eyes wide open.

"No, doctor. What does these two lines means?". Because ladies and gentlemen, I have never done any pregnancy test before so I do not know what is that stick doing with lines.

"These two lines means, you are pregnant! Congratulations!"

My eyes were wide open, swear to God it looked like my eyeballs are gonna fall out. I looked at my husband again, then the doctor started to explain things, pills, vitamins, dieting, this and that but everything was blur for me. I kept looking at the stick with two lines.

"I'm pregnant? Seriously? There is an actual human being inside me right now?"

So the doctor started asking me when was my last period, I said I don't know because I never keep track on it, never really count the days and what not, never bothers about getting pregnant and all because I just thought that it won't happen to me, yet.

So, folic acid once a day.

Calcium and some multivitamins. Iron. Vitamin C and B3.

It was (& still is!) surreal knowing that I am pregnant.

Out from the clinic, my husband hugged me tightly, "We are going to be parents!"

I was still in shocked and I was laughing scarily, both laughing and crying at the same time. I asked my husband thousands of questions, "Do you think I can be a mom? Like a good mom? Like I mean, really good mom? Do you think I have what it takes?"

That is what I did when I freaked out. I tend to ask millions questions that I know I won't give them time to actually answer me. Those questions were meant for myself, that I just said it out loud.

Back in the office.

Immediately told my teammates because I freaked out. Of course with a smile on my face but... on the inside... it was more than just freaking out. Overwhelming. And I just couldn't remember how the rest of the day went. Maybe I fell asleep in my husband's arms or maybe I cried myself to sleep, I don't know. LOL!

Well, there you go.

A little bit of an introduction of my pregnancy journey.

Day one of knowing there is an actual person inside me.

Alhamdulillah. God is great.

I am truly blessed. No joke. X

2nd Wedding Anniversary

11 November 2017

Two years ago

Married to the most lovable man on Earth

I am blessed

Thank you for making me happier each and every day

Thank you for being the best husband one could ever have

Thank you

& I love you

x

Public Toilet Etiquette

I don't usually post in my blog about daily complaints I have in my life, but when I do, I either must've been so pissed or I have done things to make it better but nope, IT DOES NOT GET ANY BETTER.

From the title itself (see above and come back here), you are well-noted that this girl must have been through a lot the fact that she wants to talk about what happens in the ladies room? The answer is, HELL YES.

Let me simplify this for you, you don't just go in, do your business and go out. No, you thought wrong. There is an art to it. There is a way or shall I say, civilized ways to do it. I don't ask for red carpet or a bow before you want to pee, but there are a lot more than just peeing and pooping.

When you are sharing things in public places, just respect these two things; OTHER PEOPLE'S PRIVATE SPACES & THINGS AROUND YOU.

1. Let's say there are 4 to 10 toilet booths/stalls in each washroom, and all of them are empty (available), please don't go beside the occupied booth. Have some manners. Understand the concept of people's invisible bubbles and spaces.

2. Same goes to the washing basin/sinks. Just go somewhere else. There are always available sinks in there. People doesn't want to sniff you. God knows what you smell like and you don't want other people to smell you too. You are standing way too close with your wet hands and the water might splashes the person beside you and they do not like that. So keep your distance. AT ALL TIMES.

3. Know how to queue if the booths/stalls are all occupied. If you live in Malaysia, especially if you go to Suria KLCC, people do not queue in front of the toilet booth's door. We queue before the booth starts. So just be a lady and queue like the rest of us. If you see nobody's queuing in front of the door, don't be a hero and try to do it because you might get scolded.

4. I know that some of us don't really do business in there. If you did, I know it should be long done, but you are taking too much time in there due to phone usage. I know you have been scrolling around your Facebook and Instagram and there's nothing coming out from your system anymore but little that you know (and how selfish you have been), people actually needed it more than you do. So please mind others.

5. Tissue matter. Well, try your damn best not to wet the whole tissue roll with your wet hands because simple, it is plain disgusting. Bring that tissue roll home because nobody wants to use it anymore, just you.

6. Squatting on a seating toilet. This is the most common issue and I am freakin sick and tired with this. Well there are some of us does not know how to sit on a toilet seat, maybe because either you are from the third-world country or you are disgusted with the idea of sharing bum-prints with strangers. Let's say you are either one of these two, please go to the squat-style toilet OR lift up the toilet seat and squat without the seat OR take off your bloody shoes and wipe it back! Do you know that your shoe-prints are more disgusting than people's butt? So please, kampung people. I beg of you, be civilized.

7. Sit on the toilet seat nicely and properly. I noticed there are some who doesn't want to sit on the toilet seat due to germophobe but please think that your pee and shit are way more than just germs/bacteria. Sometimes there are pee/poop stains. Check before you leave the toilet and see if there is any stain on the toilet, and clean it up before you go. It is not that hard, unless you leave it for days then yeah...

8. Try your best not to wet the floor. I don't understand why some of you like to wet the whole booth area. I mean, you just want to wash one or two places on your body and everything should go down the toilet bowl, not the floor.

9. I noticed this a lot that MANY OF YOU slams the door (toilet booth's door). Once you swing them open, you just smash it against the sharing wall and slams it again when you close it, and when you are done with your business, you slams it open and just let the door slams back without you holding it before it closes. I mean, why? Why, bitches? What are you so mad about that you just want to slams things? Is it because of your diarrhea? Or constipation? Or did you lose your job or your mom never taught you to respect public's facilities? Just, DON'T. SLAM. THINGS. Teach your kids that so that they won't be like you.

10. Learn how to flush down your things. People don't want to see it. You may be proud of what came out of you but honestly, you are the most disgusting person on Earth. If you encounter a problem with the flush that your things just float around and too stubborn to go down for a sewage treatment, ask the cleaner or the management to help you out with it. Don't just leave and let people see it. And no, covering the toilet seat is not a way out. BE RESPONSIBLE OF YOUR OWN SHIT. Make sure to look twice if its gone or not. You know what I mean.

11. Women & their things. You know what I'm talking about. Not all washroom provides the blue bin in every booth/stall so be a proper lady and wrap it nicely with a tissue or two and dump it at the bin outside the booth. The bin should always be there unless you are too stupid to see it. Just wrap it nicely (with a bow if you like), like wrapping a present for Christmas, to put it under a Christmas tree. Wrap it tight and good so that it won't come out even the cleaner is trying to clean it up. Let's say if you are in a situation where the bin is full, don't just shove it there. Ask the cleaner to clear the bin. Yes, it's their job to always make way for new rubbish/trash in there and to make sure that it is always tidy and clean and smells good, but you should make it easier for them.

Take this as your new motto to live in a civilized world with civilized people:

HIDUP JANGAN MENYUSAHKAN ORANG LAIN.

Let us create a better future and a better toilet experience. Cheers to pee/poop in peace! Woohoo!

One year with you ♥

"Aku terima nikahnya, xxx dengan mas kahwin RM xxx tunai."

This happened exactly a year ago. November 11. 2017. #theWanforMalina

It was overwhelming and it still is today though it has been a year been happily married to the most wonderful man on Earth. Every night before we both go to bed, we always talk and say to each other that it is so bizarre that we are now married. After what we have been through throughout the whole two-year journey before we got married, it was amazing how we got to this day.

I leave up to your wildest imagination on the countless challenges and hurdles and shittiest things that have ever happened to both of us. It is true that people said "good things don't come easily", "no pain no gain" and also "diamonds are made under pressure". When you reached to this point of being married, you'll know! This is so true! Diamonds are just ugly, useless rocks without pressuring it and polishing it and cracked it open and get to the core of the rock/stone. Well, here we are. Diamonds. Not literally, but you get what I mean.

Many people asked me, how does he proposed? And how to know if the guy is ready for marriage? How does he knows that you are the one because most guys does not have any idea how to be in a relationship? How can you get him? What did you do to make him want you? You give any hints on getting married anytime soon to him that he is pressured to do so?

Well, let me share with you our story. LOL.

For those who know me, I am not the kind of lady who likes cliche stuff. I do not believe in fairytale, have zero expectation of Prince Charming or knight in shining armour nor the guy has to proposed in some romantic gesture that I should said yes immediately. I also do not believe in arranged marriage. In fact, I did not have any plans on getting married as I grew older. (Fun fact: Back when I was seven, yes SEVEN, I had a dream that I will get married when I turn twenty-seven, which will be in 2017. So I made the calculation in that tiny little brain of mine, 20 years to go until I found my man. Well, dreams do come true then, guys. Literally.)

So I will answer it based on these common questions I often get:

How does he proposed to you?

I cannot tell you exactly how he proposed because it was more like a discussion between two of us rather than a "Will you marry me?" proposal. It was at night, we just got back from a dinner date, he sent me home. On the journey back home, he asked, "How about we get married in November 2017?". Yes, out of the blue he asked me that question. It was around August 2016, and we have been together for a year and six months at that time. I told him, "So it will be about a year plus to go. You're okay with it? Wait for me? What if there are some other bitches who want you? Will you still want me to be your wife?". I did not treat his question as a proposal because I genuinely think that was just a discussion and somehow he has that crazy idea of being married to me because I am honest AF and sometimes can be so straight-forward that people might think I am rude. But, yeah. I did not pay much attention to it because if he's serious, he will show me. Not just say things out of the blue like that. I would like to see some actions, baby! LOL!

So, it was December 2016. He asked me again. This time he said, "I told my parents that we are getting serious and my family would like to meet your family, some time in January. Is that okay? Could you please ask your family?". Err. Okay, this guy is serious. Honestly guys, I have no expectation and never think of a life being married and married Malina is not fun. I don't know how to be a wife. I mean, living in a house with a stranger? What the hell? No way. I am the type of woman who will never meet my boyfriend's family, will never go to their place and my boyfriend is not allowed to meet my family. I will never bring my boyfriend home because he is a complete stranger to my family and he will invade my family's space. So no. He asked me to discuss with my family about this and I gave it a go. My family is keen to meet him and the whole clan, so we did. January 7th 2017 was the date. We had dinner at my family's place and then they talked about being engaged on the next month.

After they went back, I couldn't believe that my family met his and my brain could not stop thinking that, "Eh am I getting married soon? Is this for reals?".

Then came a week after that. He came to pick me up and we went out for breakfast at 6.30am. I still remember that morning, he just got back from work at 5am, haven't got his sleep yet and called me at 6am to go out for a breakfast date at the nearest Oldtown in our neighbourhood. Both of us went out unshowered, with a hoodie on and still in my PJs. While waiting for our meal, he asked, "Are you busy on November 17th, 2017?". I replied with "I am not sure, let me check my organizer." (yes, I bring my organizer everywhereeee). Whilst I was checking it, he said "Let's get married?" with a question mark. I was stunned. OF COURSE I WAS STUNNED! That came out of nowhere! My eyes were wide open, froze, I swear to God I did not blink for like 10 seconds. My body was sliding down from the nook chair in Oldtown. Swear to God I looked like that!

He was laughing and said again, "Let's get married in November!". I sat up straight, and said "You never give up, do you?". He said "I know you are the one for me. So yes, I would like to marry you and have you as my wife. Will you?". And next thing, there's the engagement ring he bought earlier and went to buy it behind my back. Damn. So yeah. That's the proposal story. I still checked my schedule in my organizer and November 17th is wide open, no bookings made. So what did I say to him? I cried and said, "So I will be free on November 17th but are you sure? Aww, thank you for not giving up on me. Of course I would love to be your wife." Wow. How time flies.

For those who doesn't know why it was 17th and we were married on the 11th, the initial plan was on the 17th but there are no halls available as we went to find the venue after the engagement in February, they were only available on the 11th. So we brought it a week forward.

How to know if the guy is ready for marriage? How does he knows that you are the one because most guys does not have any idea how to be in a relationship? How can you get him? What did you do to make him want you?

I once asked him this question and I swear this is his answer. This does not comes from me. It's my husband's. Here we go. I went on few dates before I met Malina. By few, I mean a lot. I went on dates and met some women and had some conversations but none of them have the quality of being interesting. I usually do the talking, maybe they are shy but I don't feel the mutual feelings. Sometimes they like me too much or maybe they do not care at all. When I met Malina, she has different set of mind and mentality that cannot be found in others. She is different. We clicked right away and she made me laugh with her jokes and the vibe that she gave me is beyond anything else. She is not afraid to be herself and I know that she is confident by the way she talks, walks and laughs. That confidence she has, she wants people around her to feel that as well. She does not care what others think about her because she knows what she's doing. She has that good vibes and stuff that she talked about, I know she's different and smart and knowledgable. She doesn't do small talk or talk about other human beings. She focused on her goals and self-improvement, which not many can do this. She reads a lot so she knows what she's talking about. She has her own words and nothing can stop her from growing and moving forward in life. Those qualities are somehow what I was looking for to make somebody as my wife.

You give any hints on getting married anytime soon to him that he is pressured to do so?

I think he was the one who feels pressured that he is not married to me yet. LOL! I was busy focusing on myself because I was unemployed at the time and I need to find my passion and travel around before I settled down. Save up more money and to reach my certain goals first. Which I was busy with working out at the time, just to get myself sorted out by leading a healthy routine. Also to have a rockin' body for myself. Why not. Hahah! But not now though... After being married, I gained so much weight that I looked like a skinny balloon. Still skinny but bloated. You get what I mean? Sigh.

How do you keep the relationship healthy and interesting after marriage?

Until the next post! LOL!

Thanks for stopping by to read this! And thank you for the lovely wishes I received via text, Facebook and Instagram!

X,

Malina