To Pantang or Not to Pantang?

*To my international readers, this post is written specifically for my fellow Malaysian readers who can understand Bahasa Malaysia and Malay culture about postpartum confinement. This post may contain a few different languages than English :) And Pantang means Confinement in Bahasa Malaysia (in this case after childbirth care for both mother and the newborn).

Biggest question of all: To pantang or not to pantang?

Although I am a millennial, I am not saying that I am a modern human being that does not believe in culture or traditional way of doing things. I still ikut some of the Malay culture that our mak mak told us not to do when we were kids (but not all lah), for example, balik rumah sebelum Maghrib or jangan keluar masa Maghrib or jangan mandi malam, which I do mandi malam just that now dah ada water heater system in the house, so takda lah sejuk sangat nak mandi.

So bila nak bercakap tentang tradisi turun temurun, ikut kata mak mak or nenek moyang kita, one of it would be "Amalan Berpantang Selepas Bersalin". I put this in quote because that is what my doctor/gynae literally did when I ask her about this. Tinggi tangan dia naik to do the quote sign every time she said the word "pantang".

So as you know (or may not), that I am now currently in my third trimester of pregnancy and of course lah banyak benda kena fikir on packing the hospital bags - which bukan takat satu bag untuk the mother je, but ada lagi dua bags nak kena packing - one for the baby, one for the husband. My other concerns include nanti lepas bersalin nak tinggal mana, because my husband for sure will be working only a week after my labour, so tak kan nak tinggal rumah sorang sorang. Alhamdulillah I still have my parents and a sister for me untuk menumpang kasih (LOL!) while taking care of my newborn, inshaAllah. Orang kata kalau lepas beranak, tak boleh duduk rumah sorang because postpartum depression is real, guys! So tak healthy lah kita nak kena jaga anak sorang sorang, takda suami, takda family members and takda siapa for us to rely on to.

Bukan nak jadi clingy or nak depending on other people but you know what I mean. It is an overwhelming event and feeling to have little human being with you for the first time and you need someone with you to get used to it.

Because of this, we tend to need someone to help us go through the day. But if you do not have your immediate family members with you, or relatives or even your friends, this is where you need that confinement lady to help you out.

I am writing this blog bukan secara membabi buta and bukan nak go against it or kata I modern and ada orang kata nanti kalau tak pantang dengan betul, boleh sejuk badan, masuk angin or even meroyan. Well, I did a lot of research about this and even dah approached beberapa gynecologists and medical doctors and also beberapa pakej pantang yang ada di Malaysia untuk tanya more details about it and MY GOD, harga pakej pantang makcik makcik sangat cekik darah! Imagine if you beranak dekat private hospital dah cecah RM3-4k above, imagine pakej pantang ni lagi mahal than that. 14 days pakej pantang dah cecah RM4k above. Baik aku beranak kali kedua dekat the same private hospital. You get what I mean? If you ada banyak duit and takda choice untuk jaga diri and jaga baby after bersalin, then you might be tak kisah to keluar duit sebanyak tu for "berpantang". For me, with that RM4k, you can get the best stroller in town, or the best baby nest/lounger, better options for carseat and create the best nursery room for your baby. You know, spending on things more important than berurut.

Speaking of berurut, below is the list of things most pakej pantang di Malaysia buat (based on 7 different centers yang I tanya):

For mother:

• Urutan pantang/tradisional
• Relaxing massage
• Urutan jenis-jenis herba
• Tangas
• Mandi bunga
• Mandi herba
• Bengkung
• Urutan payudara
• Urutan lancar susu
• Urut peranakan/urutan rahim/sengkak
• Sengkak muka
• Sauna
• Tungku
• Tungku halia
• Hair wash therapy
• Param/pilis/tapel
• Rendaman kaki
• Pakej slimming
• Lulur
• Body mask
• Detox
• Scrub badan
• Penutup pantang
• Ikatkan rambut
• Pakaikan stokin
• Jamu

For newborn:

• Mandi
• Cuci tali pusat
• Urutan bayi
• Tungku
• Tuam bayi
• Bedung

These centers offer the package for 3 days, 7 days, 14/15 days, 44/45 days, and also 90/100 days.

Below is my Q&A session with my gynae during my antenatal checkup visit yesterday and I could not help but to ask everything about "pantang" to her and these are our conversations:

x

Q: I have few questions about pantang. Is there any scientific research and whether or not it is scientifically proven that pantang really helps on heal better after bersalin?

A: Here's the thing, define "pantang". What is "pantang", and why orang "berpantang"? In medical term, no such thing as "berpantang". Because our body memang dah ada system untuk heal sendiri. Whatever it is, bersalin ke, accident ke, patah kaki ke, anything, semua Tuhan dah buat our body system untuk heal sendiri. But kita on the other hand, kena jaga-jaga to make sure apa kita consume or buat, takda effect and tak kacau body system tu. So in this case, bersalin, Tuhan dah buat, okay, badan wanita bila bersalin, ada baby semua dekat dalam uterus, mesti ada cara juga untuk Tuhan heal kan balik dalam keadaan asal. From your uterus to jadi this big, dia mesti akan kecut sendiri. In science or medical world, memang ada study that uterus akan mengecut and jadi semula ke bentuk asal (tunjuk fist) dalam masa 45 days. If you tak buat apa-apa pun, memang akan kecut dalam masa 45 hari. Don't worry. That is why pantang orang lama kata berpantang tu biar sampai 44 hari. So if orang dulu-dulu kata berpantang tu is a process of uterus mengecut ke bentuk asal sampai tunggu 44/45 days, then it makes sense. But problem here is, what you do during that period of time. So this is when benda benda mengarut semua ada.

Q: I have done research and tengok all those business pantang buat, ada urutan, tangas and all that, takda any side effect to our body? Because we are in a process of healing, so bila usik those muscles or nerves, tak ganggu body system ke?

A: One thing, berurut memang sedap. Sangat sedap. Especially you lama baring atas katil and asyik terjaga every two hours nak jaga baby, so bila dapat urut tu, rasa relaxed. Tenang. Memang sedap. For example, if you tak pregnant now, you pergi spa and asks for massage and facial, sauna semua tu, memang sedap kan? Jadi tenang. So itu sebenarnya. Berurut just rasa nak sedap badan and nothing to do with masuk angin ke apa. No such thing as masuk angin dalam badan. Takda. Angin atau udara masuk bila kita inhale oxygen melalui our nostrils or mulut, Itu je. Mana ada masuk angin dalam badan. Kalau buang angin through kentut or sendawa, itu your digestive system. Bukan masuk ikut kaki because tak pakai socks and sejuk badan semua tu. Semua itu nonsense. If you want to berurut, silakan. If tak nak, takpa. But have you heard of "Sekak" or "Sengkak" or urutan rahim? That one, sangat sakit. Memang sakit. If you tak selesa with sakit, tell that person tak nak do the sekak thing. But no scientific proven kata sekak boleh turunkan your rahim. If you tak buat tu pun, rahim akan turun sendiri without berurut. So tell that person, no need.

Q: What about pakai bengkung?

A: Bila pakai bengkung, memang sedap. Because perut rasa selesa, rasa everything is tight and perut tak rasa bergerak or "menggelebeh". Bila you dah beranak, your perut jadi macam deflated float, excess fats and skin ada dekat situ. So pakai bengkung tu sama macam berurut, hanya untuk sedap dan selesa. Bengkung tak kan membantu untuk you get your old abs or tummy if you tak workout or do any exercise. So pakailah bengkung lama mana pun, if tak workout, your perut/abs tak kan balik ke rupa asal.

Q: So does that mean we can workout lepas bersalin?

A: Give it a time. Sama macam kalau you sprained your ankle, ada muscle tear, you berehat dulu bagi heal. Maybe a week or two after that, you can start workout dah. You pun ada tengok those mat salleh mana ada pantang-pantang macam kita, their appearance and body lagi elok rupa and also they are much healthier than us. Selain pengambilan makanan sihat, they go and workout. Bukan duduk rumah tak buat apa, terbaring and berurut sampai 44 days.

Q: I ada tengok beberapa packages offer to tungku for newborn. Is that okay?

A: Tungku for the mother I have heard, but the baby, no! Not advisable. Bertungku tu basically sama macam you pergi spa, minta urut with batu panas. That is all. Tak mendatangkan anything except for relaxation. But for baby, no, I would go against that. I don't think its safe because if you kena bertungku, you can tell the lady that the batu is panas for you to handle, but if baby, how can they tell you? So, tungku for baby, total no no. Tak mendatangkan kebaikan and also will harm the baby.

Q: What about pengambilan jamu?

A: First, you cannot consume jamu or any herba for the first few weeks or first month if you breastfeed. Because it will go to your breastmilk that somehow will affect the baby. Kita tak tahu what's inside the jamu, the ingredients and all, takut effect the baby yang baru nak get use to their diet, yang kita tak tahu apa yang dia allergic to. Second of all, jamu sekarang dah commercialized. I doubt they use authentic or natural ingredients to make it. Orang dulu dulu punya jamu, dia sendiri pergi petik all those daun and herba and tumbuk and jadikan air. So kita tahu where does it comes from, but now punya jamu yang macam dalam tin or in powder form, we do not know the source of the ingredients. So, not advisable. One thing, jamu tak sedap. Pahit. Yang penting, eat healthy food, ada cukup fibre, protein, carbs, vitamins, fruits and veggies, tak perlu ambil jamu semua tu. So, jamu is not helping you with anything if you dah ikut pemakanan seimbang.

Q: What about pantang food? Ada kata tak boleh sambal, tak boleh daging, tak boleh minum air sejuk.

A: Itu semua mengarut. Makan lah apa awak nak makan. No such thing makanan tajam lah, makanan sejuk, tak boleh makan ayam lah, tak boleh makan ikan kering. Makan je. Tak jadi masalah. You have to consume healthy, balanced diet. So each meal you take, kena ada protein, carbs, vitamins, high-fiber food, fruits and veggies. No such thing tak boleh makan itu ini. You tengah nak heal, so you kena ambil all dalam food pyramid. And hydrate yourself by drinking plenty of water. Orang dulu dulu kata minum dua gelas air je sehari, mana cukup. You nak heal properly, so kena minum banyak air. Also ada juga kata tak boleh duduk dalam aircond, nanti sejuk. You buka je aircond. Tak kan nak berpanas sampai berpeluh. Buka je aircond, kalau sejuk, pakai selimut or jacket ke.

Q: Pantang orang tua kata tak boleh minum air banyak sedangkan we need to drink a lot to heal and to breastfeed.

A: This is another one yang nonsense. It makes no sense at all, You nak heal, you nak breastfeed, you dehydrate, and yet you tak boleh minum air banyak. Nonsense. You need to hydrate yourself. Kalau dia bagi air sikit, you curi-curi minum je. You need more water now that you are in the process of healing.

Q: What about param/pilis/tapel?

A: Tak membantu dalam process nak heal.

Q: Ikatkan rambut bagi tegang?

A: Angin tak masuk ikut kepala. Itu yang silap, angin tak masuk ikut mana mana kecuali bila you bernafas. You inhale ikut hidung and mulut, itu lah angin nya. So sampai nak sikat rambut, ikat ketat-ketat, that is all for nothing. Rasa sedap je lah orang main rambut kita.

Q: Why ada mandi bunga and mandi herba and all?

A: If you nak rasa layanan seperti seorang puteri, silakan. Because bila lagi orang nak datang rumah, mandikan you, petik bunga satu-satu letak dalam bathtub or baldi, siramkan atas kepala, you duduk je situ diam-diam. Bila lagi. Tak kan nak panggil masa you bukan bersalin, dah buang tebiat ke apa pula kan. Orang dulu dulu mana ada sabun, shower gel, bath gel with scent, floral scent semua tu. Orang dulu takda sabun, so kena lah mandi bunga. Bila lepas bersalin, kita ada darah nifas. Darah nifas tu lagi teruk bau than darah haid. Bau lagi hanyir. So tu yang orang dulu kena mandi bunga. Tak mandi biasa. Tapi kalau zaman sekarang dah ada macam-macam jenis shower gel bau lagi wangi than the bunga itself, so mandi lah pakai sabun. Lagi bersih, lagi wangi.

Q: Berpantang tak boleh keluar rumah. Kena stay at home for the whole period of pantang. So if 44 days pantang, tak boleh keluar langsung for 44 days?

A: Mengarut. Itu diorang panggil tak boleh jejak tanah. Orang dulu dulu agaknya takda kasut, takda selipar. So family members dia tak bagi keluar rumah because kaki kotor pijak tanah. Boleh kena penyakit kalau tak pakai kasut bila keluar. Zaman sekarang dah ada kasut, kita pun travel naik kereta. Bukan jalan kaki dekat tepi jalan penuh tanah. So nak keluar, keluar lah. If you larat and also if you think that will make you happy, then keluar. No problem. If duduk rumah tak jumpa orang, tak tengok dunia luar sampai 44 days, boleh depressed. So to make you happy, tak depressed, go ahead. Boleh keluar rumah.

Q: What is "meroyan"? Orang dulu kata kalau tak buat proper pantang, boleh meroyan.

A: Saya pun tak tahu apa term meroyan tu. Kalau nak kata depression, yes, postpartum depression is real. But tengok balik apa source, apa sebab jadi meroyan. Kalau tak bagi keluar rumah, tak bagi makan daging, tak cukup minum air, duduk dalam keadaan panas takda aircond, of course boleh jadi rimas and depressed. Kena ada orang with you, for you to get the groove on the newborn. Kena ada strong support system from family and friends.

Q: To conclude, perlu tak berpantang secara tradisional?

A: Up to you. For me, its all back to one thing; your relationship with your family members/relatives. Kalau dah mak mak and your aunts and grandmas semua suruh you pantang juga, ikut kan je lah. Because tak nak gaduh, tak nak naik suara. Jaga hubungan sesama keluarga lebih penting. But if let's say, sesuatu activity tu boleh memudaratkan you, then you politely say no. Contohnya, minum jamu. You tak percaya the source and apa sebenarnya dalam jamu tu, then you can bawa that jamu and flush down the toilet. Buat belakang-belakang, jangan bagi orang lain terasa. Also kalau orang tak bagi you minum air, you pergi minum senyap-senyap. Duduk dalam bilik ada aircond senyap-senyap. Takpa. Daripada kita pun stress nak gaduh and keep on saying no boleh sampai depressed, kan susah tu. Also, if dia nak urut rahim atau sengkak, yang tu you boleh say no to tukang urut because boleh membahayakan your body system. Rahim tak perlu diurut. Dia akan turun sendiri. Yang penting, consume healthy diet, keep yourself hydrated, lead a healthy lifestyle, workout, go out or do whatever makes you happy so that you tak depressed - or maybe tak "meroyan" if we want to use that term, then we're okay. Kalau your family members boleh terima your opinion about this and decided not to do the traditional pantang, then don't do it. Bazir duit je nak bayar package semua tu. Because tak perlu pun, your body is amazing, Allah dah buat for your body to heal itself.

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There you go. What a long conversation between my gynae and I. Hopefully, this post dapat bagi benefit untuk sesiapa yang clueless like me. LOL. My dad, my husband and I memang against this amalan berpantang because I did not see any benefits or sebab yang munasabah untuk I buat and also untuk keluar duit sebanyak tu. Bukan kedekut, but I belajar untuk pandai berbelanja and pandai menilai sesuatu benda sebelum I proceed to do it. If takda mendatangkan kebaikan and lagi banyak memudaratkan diri sendiri and orang sekeliling, then I won't do it. I will not do something just because it is adat turun temurun since 1900 or I won't just do membabi buta just because orang lain asks me to do it.

Plus, for me, it's always Science > Culture. I believe in science... LOL!

Ada I tengok pakej pantang sampai ada kemaskan rumah, do laundry, masakkan makanan pantang, mandikan baby. Well, for me, dekat situ, husband kena mainkan peranan sebagai seorang suami. This whole pregnancy thing, bukan the mother je yang kena hadap, the father pun ada roles dia. If the mother yang beranakkan, yang hadap sakit, yang kena breastfeed, so tugas seorang suami and seorang bapa kena lah buat kerja rumah sikit. Takat laundry, masuk baju dalam washing machine je. Bukan kena sental beriya guna baldi. And kemaskan rumah? Allahu, vacuum pun once a week je. Do dishes, every time habis makan kena basuh pinggan, so memang tak kan ada pinggan berlonggok dalam sink. Nak masak? This is the tricky part, maybe some husbands ada yang tak reti masak. If you duduk rumah parents after labour, if parents larat nak masak, then boleh minta tolongkan masak. Or suami boleh tengok resepi online. If memang takda orang juga nak masak for the mother, then you can opt for that, or ambil maid ke. For me, I won't simply trust anybody to cook for me, lagi lagi kalau dia masuk my kitchen and use my stuff like its their own. I don't know, that is my opinion lah. And mandikan baby? Maybe the first few days tu, you might need someone with more experience to show you until you get the hang of it, but after that, si suami boleh lah tolong. Si ibu pula, kena lah belajar buat sendiri. Sampai bila nak minta orang lain mandikan anak kita sendiri. Kan? Second of all, I do not trust some strangers to datang rumah and ke hulu ke hilir dalam rumah like their own house. I mean, maybe this comes from experience that we never had a maid before since I was a little kid, so, its only the four of us at home and to have somebody from God-knows-where inside our home, I don't feel safe or at ease. I don't know their background, their lifestyle, where they have been, their penyakit (if there's any), their habits, ada any weird perangai ke, you know, stuff like that.

Alhamdulillah, I have the most supportive husband and parents and sister and in-laws to help me get through this. Syukur dapat suami yang tak malas buat kerja rumah and sendiri yang meng-offerkan diri to do things without me asking him. Bless you, sayang. Also syukur ada Mommy, Daddy and Sissy for agreeing and wanting to take care of me and my newborn soon and allow us to stay at their place for as long as we want sampai we get the groove on living with the new addition to the family.

InshaAllah.

Semoga Allah permudahkan segala urusan kita, dunia dan akhirat. Ameen.

Love, MA

11 Pregnancy Essentials

Now that you knew you are pretty much pregnant and aware your body is changing (& growing), what's next?

I totally understand on how you feel. Overwhelming. Do not know where to start. Where is the beginning? Where does this ends? Should I start buying now? Should I wait? Or should I just lead my life as usual? What things should I get for me?

Well, I am here to help you new preggos out there. Bear in mind, I am no different than you and this is only my first pregnancy and I get it that you do not want to ask people around about this whole pregnancy thing because you are afraid you might seem annoying and people might not get where you are coming from.

I get that.

But, "malu bertanya, sesat jalan", am I right?

I did ask people around especially moms, new moms, women who are in their first or second and even fifth pregnancy. I did (& still do) some research as well, and by some, I mean A LOT. I read articles from reliable sources, downloaded baby apps on iPhone, and let me tell you one important thing: NEVER READ FORUMS. Why? Because different people experiencing different things. So when you want to know something, its best if you just Google it and click on tabs from reliable sources (will list down some of trusted sites and apps I've visited), not the discussions between people in forums.

I know I did the same by asking people around but that is just to get an insight and some ideas on what is it really about rather than trusting it and taking it point by point on what you want to know. You need to make your own judgment based on what you have read from doctors, reliable sources on the internet or your gynae, conversations between you and your friends/family members and maybe some of the discussion in the chatroom. 

If you are having troubles to make your own judgment, that's where I am here to guide you on what I feel right and even my gynae and nurses approve!

Here are some of the essentials that I think most preggos can get to make your pregnancy journey fun, easy and graceful!

1) Vitamins/supplements

• Iberet Folic 500
• Contains: Iron, vitamin C, B Complex, Folic Acid
• Consume: Once a day. I take it every night after my dinner
• Where to get it: Common pharmacy e.g. Guardian, Watson's
• Why this: The reason I bought from the shelf instead of taking Obimin from Klinik Kesihatan because of the side effect I got from Obimin - Nausea (everytime!) & diarrhoea. Told my nurse and she asked me to get other supplement but I refused. LOL! Went to my private gynae, she approves my intake of Iberet Folic 500 *thumbs up*

• Blackmores Calcium + D3
• Contains: 600mg Calcium, vitamin D3500 IU
• Consume: Once a day. I take it every night after my dinner
• Where to get it: Common pharmacy e.g. Guardian, Watson's
• Why this: Because calcium is needed for pregnant women to ensure you and the baby get enough calcium for teeth and bones' growth

• Scott's Fish Oil 1000mg capsule
• Contains: Omega 3 (DHA + EPA)
• Consume: Once a day. I take it every night after my dinner
• Where to get it: Common pharmacy e.g. Guardian, Watson's
• Why this: Though this is not "compulsory" for pregnant women, you can choose not to take this but I believe in healthy brain growth for both mom and baby. There are a lot of benefits of fish oil if you take it daily even if you are not pregnant! My gynae says its good to take this for best growth and development of the baby. IMPORTANT NOTE: Please make sure you consume fish oil, NOT cod liver oil! It is not safe for pregnant women to take cod liver oil, so please read the box carefully!

2) Pregnancy belt / maternity belt / pregnancy belly band

• Oppo Maternity Belt
• When to wear it: Every time when you go out and do a lot of walking, during exercising (walking on treadmill), or doing chores around the house that requires a lot of standing. You don't have to wear it while sitting or lying down
• Where to get it: Common pharmacy e.g. Guardian, Watson's or hospital
• Why this: Though this is not "compulsory" for pregnant women, but I have lower back problem and the weight of my belly somehow affects my back and it is good to have a support so that you can improve on your posture. Also, you can tackle your daily activities comfortably!

3) >1.5l Big bottle / tumbler with lemon water

• >1.5l water bottle / tumbler
• Fill in your huge-ass bottle with water and slices of lemon and bring it everywhere!
• Why this: Lemon water promotes good hydration for our body especially when you are pregnant, you need more water to keep yourself hydrated, not to mention a good source of vitamin C, improves skin quality (that is where you get the glow!), it aids digestion, it freshens your breath (you do not need your mint anymore) and also helps prevent kidney stones. As well as, it tastes better than the normal water. LOL

4) Hot/cold pack

• Hot/cold Pack
• If you want it to be hot, put the pack in a microwave, if you want the cold one, you can use the same pack to put in the freezer
• Where to get it: I got it from my physiotherapist at the hospital but this can be found in any pharmacies or you can buy from your hospital. You can go online shopping too!
• Why this: This is recommended by my physiotherapist during my physio session due to my back problem but this can be used for pregnant women as well because you might get back problem too later in your third trimester. So this thing actually can make your life more comfortable! I use the cold pack during the day and hot one at night before I go to sleep.

5)  Coccyx pillow

• Coccyx pillow
• When to use it: I bought two, one for driving or seating in the car (passenger seat) and one for office use.
• Where to get it: Common pharmacy or hospital
• Why this: Though this is not "compulsory" for pregnant women, but if you are working 9-5 in an office, a desk job, or while you are traveling (roadtrip or by plane), you need this because you are sitting for too long and by using this it might help ease on the pressure on your tailbone and also to fix your posture. Remember, sitting is the new cancer!

6) Gym ball / yoga ball / exercise ball

• When to use it: When you are watching TV at home, lounging around
• Where to get it: Common pharmacy or any sports store
• Why this: Though this is not "compulsory" for pregnant women, but this is again, to correct your posture. If you are tired by sitting on it, you can use it as a pouffe or stool to put your legs up while you are sitting on a sofa or working at work. This is to ensure a good blood flow and making sure blood does not pool in your feet that can cause swollen feet.

7) Tights / leggings / maternity pants

• Good high-waisted, elastic, stretchy, breathable cotton pants are good for your growing belly
• When to wear it: Anytime, anywhere, 24/7. LOL!
• Where to get it: Any maternity store or sports attire store, Uniqlo, Cotton On Body
• Why this: Because it gives you comfort and extra support to hold your belly up without any restrictions to move around!

8) Pregnancy pillow

• There are three types of pregnancy pillow: U-shaped, C-shaped & three different pillows with you (for your head, your back & between your legs). As your belly grows bigger, you might need to sleep on your side. This is to ensure that your blood circulation flows nicely.
• When to use it: When you are lying down and sleeping, of course
• Where to get it: I bought the C-shaped pregnancy pillow from Parkson
• Why this: Experts recommend pregnant women should avoid sleeping on their backs during second and third trimesters because the entire weight of the growing fetus on your back, intestines and vena cava (the main vein that carries blood back to the heart from your lower body. The pressure can lead to backaches and hemorrhoids which can make you dizzy.

9) Bio-Oil / stretch mark lotion / lotion

• Bio-Oil Essence
• When to use it: Every morning after shower, every night after shower
• Where to get it: Common pharmacies e.g. Watson's, Guardian
• Why this: Apply this twice a day, every day to have less to no stretch marks around your waist, lower belly, breasts, thighs, knees, back of your armpits 

• St. Ives Oatmeal & Shea Butter Body Lotion
• When to use it: Every morning after shower, every night after shower or whenever you feel like your skin is extra dry that day
• Where to get it: On the shelf in any common supermarkets
• Why this: Apply this twice a day, every day to have moisturized , glowing skin. This is not to avoid stretch marks though I think it helps in some way because all your stretched-out skin is not cracked and gets enough moisture. I apply this especially on my knees, elbows, across my arms and calves, thighs, my back and pretty much everywhere on my body to get a full coverage of moisture

10) MASSAGE, OMG YES PLEASE!

• You can ask for prenatal massage (but never asked for the masseuse to massage your belly! It's dangerous!)
• When to have it: When you feel sore especially your feet and back.
• Where to get it: There are a lot of massage places to go for, but I do not trust people to massage me while I am pregnant, so I consulted with my physiotherapist on the correct way to massage due to my back problem (again *roll eyes*) and to make sure it is safe for pregnant. So she taught my husband on how to massage me... so my masseuse is my husband. LOL
• Why this: Because trust me, YOU NEED IT. Your body will feel a lot better! YES!

11) Download pregnancy/baby apps on your phone

• What app: BabyCentre & Pregnancy+
• When to install it: Right after you know you are pregnant
• Where to get it: Free to be downloaded on iOS and Android
• Why this: To keep track of your pregnancy journey and your baby's development week by week. It is a trusted site from reliable sources with day-to-day information, diet, pregnancy tips, baby names, keep track of your fetus' size in your womb according to which weeks you are right now, and everything. You name it, all questions you have about pregnancy and parenting and baby care and your roles (literally from a-z) are available in the app.

Happy pregnant, new Mommies! x

Meet Malina's 9 Stages of Pregnancy

1st Trimester: FEAR

Month 1: Woot

What was my thought: Confused. Am I happy? Is this really happening? Am I really pregnant? Why on Earth they created that pregnancy test kit? Okay, maybe I'm happy but honestly, I am freaking out!

Month 2: Boo No Wine

What was my thought: Boo, no Pepsi! Boo, no more caffeine! Boo, no more sushi and sashimi and anything raw!

Month 3: Barf City / People think I'm fat

What was my thought: I vomited every morning, evening and night but only lasted for two weeks, thank God. I gained some weight, and belly is shown but not too much. I think people were confused, "Is she really pregnant or she's just full?"

2nd Trimester: ACCEPTANCE

Month 4: Welcome, muffin top!

What was my thought: Everyday questioning my husband and everyone around me, "Do I look like I'm pregnant? Or people just think that I'm skinny but with fats?"

Month 5: I got this

What was my thought: Me trying to tie up my shoe laces, and try to wear socks and apply lotions from knees and below and try to clip my toenails, "I got this!", but my husband went like, "Let me help you, baby."

Month 6: I need a new kitchen now!

What was my thought: Literally, "Baby, we need a new kitchen now!" So we did. Currently our house is a mess, we are doing the entire kitchen, floorings, plaster ceilings and mini project for each room in our tiny house. Mostly, kitchen and baby's room!

3rd Trimester: FEAR & FOOD STAINS

Month 7: Obnoxious comments from strangers

What was my thought: Umm, hell yes. Every comment I received about this person knows best about being a mom and pregnancy and baby's stuff are just literally, annoying. I will ask you when I want to seek for your opinion. If not, then don't.

Month 8: Violet Beauregarde

What was my thought: Yes, soon. I may have gained a few kilos but it doesn't seem to show on the outside, though. But maybe, Violet + Augutus Gloop.

Month 9: I will cut you

What was my thought: I am annoyed with everything right now and maybe I will be more annoyed with every single thing soon. I am so particular and picky with every thing. Especially, my new kitchen. I hope it will turn out good because we spent a lot of money for it.

Second Trimester of Pregnancy

Welcoming and also ending my second trimester with... lower back ache! Yay!

No, its definitely not a "yay" thing to celebrate but I managed to go through my second trimester with flying colours! If there is such a thing with rating it like that.

Alhamdulillah, my second trimester went smoothly. No more vomiting after my fourth month, I gained back my energy, I finally can do my chores but I was hospitalized during my week 17 due to my backbone that caused by my previous injury happened in 2009.

Hospitalized for a week, went for couple of hydro physiotherapy, did some swimming and cat poses, my best friends became from human beings to medicine; Perskindol, AcuStop & ice packs.

Then it got worse. I cannot walk, I could not get up from the bed, basically need my husband 24/7 to lift and carry me everywhere, getting inside the car was bad, getting out of it was worse, I need my coccyx pillow all the time (currently I have two coccyx pillows; one in the car, another one at work). I need my pregnancy pillow every time I lie down on my side to support this heavy baby.

Asked my husband for a babymoon on November 11 to spend time and celebrate our 2nd year anniversary. Nothing fancy or far from the city, just someplace special for us to focus on our relationship and being truly present while the baby is still inside me. LOL!

Going for monthly checkups are the best thing because I can meet our baby - though just from the screen, yes. But seeing my baby breathing and moving and smiling and playing with the cord are so overwhelming. Never failed to make me think, "Allahuakbar, there is a tiny human being inside me. We made a tiny human, husband. And its inside me right now."

Blessed. Alhamdulillah.

Though this backache problem will not go away anytime soon but I know it will be all worth it. To have this baby is no doubt a blessing. We are truly blessed, my husband and I.

Thank you for the well wishes and duas from friends and family. InshaAllah, may Allah ease my pregnancy journey and this prenatal jaunt to practice ourselves to become parents :)

Love, MA

x

First Trimester of Pregnancy

My first trimester was amazing.

No morning sickness.

No headache.

No weird cravings whatsoever.

I still can focus on my work and still driving and sleeping comfortably on my back and switching positions with zero problem.

One thing for sure, I WAS TIRED AND SLEEPY that I just want to rest my head on my fluffy pillows 24/7.

Other than that, pregnancy was amazing! First trimester was good.

Except for the last one week before I entered second trimester.

Vomiting? Every morning, evening and night, yes.

Headache? One spoonful of it every evening, please.

Cravings? Not so much.

Allergic to certain smell or food? Nope. Nothing. Still surviving with any food.

Tired and sleepy? Lesser and lesser each day.

I was on week 17, my lower back pain started to occur. Was hospitalized and went through for physiotherapy for two weeks. I fell on my back, back in 2011, and somehow I fractured my coccyx (aka tail bone). The pain came back and said hello now, after 8 years, is because my pregnancy.

Well, throughout pregnancy, hormones affect a woman's muscles and joints. The hormones relaxin and progesterone relax muscles and loosen ligaments and joints, especially in the pelvic area. The extra weight and body changes in pregnancy along with these loosened joints and ligaments can cause discomfort and even lead to injury. As your uterus grows and becomes heavier, your center of gravity changes. This can lead to problems with balance and the potential for falls. The weight of your baby and weakening of belly muscles pulls your lower spine forward, adding strain to back muscles. Many women respond by leaning back in an awkward posture. This increases back strain and pain. (Link)

It is not normal to have this back pain early in your pregnancy, it should occur later in second trimester but it is a different case for me because of my previous injury. The pain comes early because the relaxin hormones is released that my muscles could not endure the pain that has been there for years.

Hence, intensive physio sessions.

I still need to apply AcuStop and Perskindol on my back until today and also to wear the pregnancy belt (yes, now as in first trimester). I have to apply hot pack and ice pack every day, twice a day to help ease on the pain.

My husband has been nothing but totally supportive and lovely as ever to help me get through this journey. I had to take sick leaves for bed rest and doctor keeps on giving me MC and ask me to rest.

My colleagues are very supportive and they help me get through my days by tackling some of my workload, which I truly appreciate. Thanks, guys.

At this point in life, despite this painful lower back, I am doing my best focusing on eating healthily for the baby, making sure that I did not miss the multivitamins that I have to take every night, think positively, listening to more Quran verses and also piano classical songs, read more and catching up on news, taking care of myself, try not to stress out so much especially with crazy traffics in KL.

I am doing my best to tackle everything at once. I need to practice this now as there is a new responsibility coming my way. A mother :)


Love, MA
x

I AM PREGNANT!

Being pregnant and knowing that you are pregnant are absolute no joke.

We certainly did not plan or expect this to happen but God knows best and He knows more than you do that you are ready for this next chapter in life.

Being born.

Growing up as a kid.

School.

Universities.

Graduated.

Job interviews.

Getting a new job.

Excited for having a long term relationship with someone who is finally serious with you and you also want him too.

Get engaged.

Being married.

Switching jobs.

And now, being PREGNANT.

God has a beautiful way to guide you through it all and here I am. With the weight of 59kg (previously I was 52kg before I got pregnant) and fluffier cheeks and fingers and toes, huge appetite, wanting to sleep all the time, back ache, vomiting and to have a husband who is extraordinarily nice even sometimes I got superbly moody (sometimes?), God is great.

Never in my life that I could be relaxing, lounging in my bedroom, on this king-sized bed, with Mozart/piano classical songs on Spotify running through my ears and perhaps my growing baby in this belly can hear it too, while blogging this, typing these words... that I am pregnant. With a smile on my face. Happy, motherly smile I would say.

How did I get the news? How did I find out that I am pregnant? Here I go...

I have been having this sore breasts for like a month now and I told my husband about it that he wanted to bring me to see a doctor for a checkup but I said no, every single time. Because I was in denial. I thought it was breast cancer or something. It hurts so bad that it grows and I can feel that it is tight and hard. But never in my mind I would think that it is one of the symptoms of pregnancy. I do not have a regular menstrual cycle so not having my period during that month was just a normal day for me.

A month goes by.

I was at work, it was almost lunch time. I called my husband and told him that I think I should go for a checkup because it hurts like hell. He picked me up from work, I asked for a time off and went to the clinic I usually go to. Told my doctor about it and she said, "I think we should go for a urine test." Still, I haven't had a single clue that I was pregnant. I thought it was something else.

Peed in a small jar. Passed it to the nurse.

5 minutes later. Doctor calls my name. Both husband and I entered the consultation room.

"You see these two lines???"

I looked at my husband, staring at him with my eyes wide open.

"No, doctor. What does these two lines means?". Because ladies and gentlemen, I have never done any pregnancy test before so I do not know what is that stick doing with lines.

"These two lines means, you are pregnant! Congratulations!"

My eyes were wide open, swear to God it looked like my eyeballs are gonna fall out. I looked at my husband again, then the doctor started to explain things, pills, vitamins, dieting, this and that but everything was blur for me. I kept looking at the stick with two lines.

"I'm pregnant? Seriously? There is an actual human being inside me right now?"

So the doctor started asking me when was my last period, I said I don't know because I never keep track on it, never really count the days and what not, never bothers about getting pregnant and all because I just thought that it won't happen to me, yet.

So, folic acid once a day.

Calcium and some multivitamins. Iron. Vitamin C and B3.

It was (& still is!) surreal knowing that I am pregnant.

Out from the clinic, my husband hugged me tightly, "We are going to be parents!"

I was still in shocked and I was laughing scarily, both laughing and crying at the same time. I asked my husband thousands of questions, "Do you think I can be a mom? Like a good mom? Like I mean, really good mom? Do you think I have what it takes?"

That is what I did when I freaked out. I tend to ask millions questions that I know I won't give them time to actually answer me. Those questions were meant for myself, that I just said it out loud.

Back in the office.

Immediately told my teammates because I freaked out. Of course with a smile on my face but... on the inside... it was more than just freaking out. Overwhelming. And I just couldn't remember how the rest of the day went. Maybe I fell asleep in my husband's arms or maybe I cried myself to sleep, I don't know. LOL!

Well, there you go.

A little bit of an introduction of my pregnancy journey.

Day one of knowing there is an actual person inside me.

Alhamdulillah. God is great.

I am truly blessed. No joke. X

2nd Wedding Anniversary

11 November 2017

Two years ago

Married to the most lovable man on Earth

I am blessed

Thank you for making me happier each and every day

Thank you for being the best husband one could ever have

Thank you

& I love you

x

Public Toilet Etiquette

I don't usually post in my blog about daily complaints I have in my life, but when I do, I either must've been so pissed or I have done things to make it better but nope, IT DOES NOT GET ANY BETTER.

From the title itself (see above and come back here), you are well-noted that this girl must have been through a lot the fact that she wants to talk about what happens in the ladies room? The answer is, HELL YES.

Let me simplify this for you, you don't just go in, do your business and go out. No, you thought wrong. There is an art to it. There is a way or shall I say, civilized ways to do it. I don't ask for red carpet or a bow before you want to pee, but there are a lot more than just peeing and pooping.

When you are sharing things in public places, just respect these two things; OTHER PEOPLE'S PRIVATE SPACES & THINGS AROUND YOU.

1. Let's say there are 4 to 10 toilet booths/stalls in each washroom, and all of them are empty (available), please don't go beside the occupied booth. Have some manners. Understand the concept of people's invisible bubbles and spaces.

2. Same goes to the washing basin/sinks. Just go somewhere else. There are always available sinks in there. People doesn't want to sniff you. God knows what you smell like and you don't want other people to smell you too. You are standing way too close with your wet hands and the water might splashes the person beside you and they do not like that. So keep your distance. AT ALL TIMES.

3. Know how to queue if the booths/stalls are all occupied. If you live in Malaysia, especially if you go to Suria KLCC, people do not queue in front of the toilet booth's door. We queue before the booth starts. So just be a lady and queue like the rest of us. If you see nobody's queuing in front of the door, don't be a hero and try to do it because you might get scolded.

4. I know that some of us don't really do business in there. If you did, I know it should be long done, but you are taking too much time in there due to phone usage. I know you have been scrolling around your Facebook and Instagram and there's nothing coming out from your system anymore but little that you know (and how selfish you have been), people actually needed it more than you do. So please mind others.

5. Tissue matter. Well, try your damn best not to wet the whole tissue roll with your wet hands because simple, it is plain disgusting. Bring that tissue roll home because nobody wants to use it anymore, just you.

6. Squatting on a seating toilet. This is the most common issue and I am freakin sick and tired with this. Well there are some of us does not know how to sit on a toilet seat, maybe because either you are from the third-world country or you are disgusted with the idea of sharing bum-prints with strangers. Let's say you are either one of these two, please go to the squat-style toilet OR lift up the toilet seat and squat without the seat OR take off your bloody shoes and wipe it back! Do you know that your shoe-prints are more disgusting than people's butt? So please, kampung people. I beg of you, be civilized.

7. Sit on the toilet seat nicely and properly. I noticed there are some who doesn't want to sit on the toilet seat due to germophobe but please think that your pee and shit are way more than just germs/bacteria. Sometimes there are pee/poop stains. Check before you leave the toilet and see if there is any stain on the toilet, and clean it up before you go. It is not that hard, unless you leave it for days then yeah...

8. Try your best not to wet the floor. I don't understand why some of you like to wet the whole booth area. I mean, you just want to wash one or two places on your body and everything should go down the toilet bowl, not the floor.

9. I noticed this a lot that MANY OF YOU slams the door (toilet booth's door). Once you swing them open, you just smash it against the sharing wall and slams it again when you close it, and when you are done with your business, you slams it open and just let the door slams back without you holding it before it closes. I mean, why? Why, bitches? What are you so mad about that you just want to slams things? Is it because of your diarrhea? Or constipation? Or did you lose your job or your mom never taught you to respect public's facilities? Just, DON'T. SLAM. THINGS. Teach your kids that so that they won't be like you.

10. Learn how to flush down your things. People don't want to see it. You may be proud of what came out of you but honestly, you are the most disgusting person on Earth. If you encounter a problem with the flush that your things just float around and too stubborn to go down for a sewage treatment, ask the cleaner or the management to help you out with it. Don't just leave and let people see it. And no, covering the toilet seat is not a way out. BE RESPONSIBLE OF YOUR OWN SHIT. Make sure to look twice if its gone or not. You know what I mean.

11. Women & their things. You know what I'm talking about. Not all washroom provides the blue bin in every booth/stall so be a proper lady and wrap it nicely with a tissue or two and dump it at the bin outside the booth. The bin should always be there unless you are too stupid to see it. Just wrap it nicely (with a bow if you like), like wrapping a present for Christmas, to put it under a Christmas tree. Wrap it tight and good so that it won't come out even the cleaner is trying to clean it up. Let's say if you are in a situation where the bin is full, don't just shove it there. Ask the cleaner to clear the bin. Yes, it's their job to always make way for new rubbish/trash in there and to make sure that it is always tidy and clean and smells good, but you should make it easier for them.

Take this as your new motto to live in a civilized world with civilized people:

HIDUP JANGAN MENYUSAHKAN ORANG LAIN.

Let us create a better future and a better toilet experience. Cheers to pee/poop in peace! Woohoo!